Finding My Way Home
by Disloyalhousemdfan
Summary: An AU "While You Were Sleeping" Kurt and Blaine story. Kurt Hummel is lonely, living alone in New York City, feeling defeated that his life isn't how he'd always imagined, but there is one bright spot in his life, a beautiful man with bright blue eyes and a killer smile. The man he has a crush on gets mugged and Kurt's life gets flipped upside down.
1. Prologue

Blue eyes.

It was always those damn blue eyes. Kurt could feel his heart rate quicken and his breath catch every single time the man with the blue eyes came through for his daily subway ticket. He had the most brilliant smile and if the man had said two words to him he wouldn't have been able to reply coherently.

It was the only bright spot in his ordinarily dreary life. He'd come to New York with big Broadway hopes and dreams when he was just shy of nineteen. That was nearly six years ago and the bright shiny lights of the stage had seemed to become dimmer and dimmer with each passing day. He was nowhere where he had wanted to be at this point in his life.

Kurt had a small low-end apartment with very poor upkeep handled by a landlord who hit on him every chance he got. The man was sweet, if Kurt was being honest, he had allowed Kurt a place to stay when every other place in the city had refused (thanks to having no credit to his name) and he also knew the man was lonely and meant nothing by the shameless and very unsubtle flirting "techniques" he would ply on Kurt every time they interacted. Kurt also had a pet cat named Liza, who almost enabled him to forget that he had no current love life; in fact he'd never had one to begin with.

His years in high school had been a time full of confusion, fear, and bullying. He'd tried to be brave enough, to fight back against those who tried to intimidate him but he when he once tried to stand up to the main football player giving him hell, the reaction he got due to his resistance was not the one he'd expected. He had not in anyway expected to be kissed, to have his first kiss stolen by the one person he had been absolutely terrified of. Afterward, he found himself pulling back into himself. The guy who'd kissed him, Karofsky, had threatened his life and Kurt had felt he had no one to turn to for help.

Kurt had started eating less, withdrawing even further into himself, he'd stopped being social with his friends, and his fashion choices for school had started to suffer horribly. Everyone knew something was wrong but only tried to say something when it became too much to ignore; Kurt had just blown them off. His father had even tried to corner him while trying in vain to get him to help with dinner. Kurt had felt trapped and got angry and had lashed out. His heart had hammered tightly against his chest as he rushed from the kitchen and up to his room where he had locked his door, and his father had given up and decidedly left him alone.

He ended up fainting in Glee a week later. Kurt could honestly say he was unable to remember anything that happened that day. He'd been in a haze for most of the day and had found himself in Glee club rehearsing for sectionals, on autopilot, when the next thing he knew he was falling to the ground and he heard the raised voices of his friends as they quickly rushed to his side along side Mr. Schue's command for someone to call for help. The next thing he knew he was waking up in a hospital bed, with an IV in his arm, and the fatigued figure of his father sitting at his bedside.

Everything had felt blurry and Kurt had wanted to cry but he had seemed to be unable to which made him want to cry even more. His father gripped his hand and held it in his own as he explained to him that he (Kurt) was severely dehydrated, underweight, and on the verge of malnourishment. The pained expression on his father's face made him want to crawl inside himself and hide forever. He'd done that to his father because he'd been trying so hard to hold onto some kind of control in his own messed up life that he'd given no thought to what it might end up doing to those he loved. Kurt felt so lost and confused, but the squeeze from his father's hand caught his attention and his father asked him to explain what was going on, reluctantly Kurt spoke quickly of what was going on at McKinley and of what Karofsky had threatened to do. He hated feeling so powerless and scared that he had reached out his father. All he had wanted in that moment was to be held by his father, his daddy, to feel safe. Burt had reached forward and taken his weakened son into his arms and calmly tried to sooth him as the tears finally started to fall from Kurt's sleep heavy eyes.

Kurt had been taken out of McKinley the following week. His father had lodged a complaint with the school along with the school board and he had fought for Karofsky to be disciplined fully. From that week onward, Kurt had been home schooled.

Kurt's father had made sure to get him into counseling for his weight loss and eating as well as his health and his recovery was being monitored by both Burt and his new stepmother Carole. The changes were for the best and Kurt ended up graduating half a year early, and before he could change his mind Kurt saved what he could and moved to New York City. He'd thought about college but decided a year off before starting would do him good; it became a year that turned into nearly six.

In all that time Kurt went on audition after audition hoping for his big break but it never came. He had tried meeting others socially but had seemingly failed at that as well. Kurt had begun distancing himself from everything he loved again. His father in Lima still called regularly to make sure he was taking care of himself and eating right, but nothing much outside of that. Miss Rachel Berry herself was in New York City attending NYADA but Kurt rarely heard from her and had never once met up with her. Kurt was alone in what was supposed to be the city of his dreams. His one and only kiss had been from the one boy who had tormented him in public school, and he had no promising future romantic ties or professional opportunities in sight.

That's why he loved his almost daily brief encounter with Mr. Blue Eyes himself. The man had a kind smile, even though he was almost always on his cell whenever he got his subway ticket from the booth Kurt manned more often then not.

Kurt would find himself day dreaming of the life he and Mr. Blue Eyes would have together. They'd get an upscale condo in the center of New York City, right near the "Great White Way" (Broadway), they'd go out for dinner and a show every weekend. They'd constantly hold hands and kiss, Mr. Blue Eyes would constantly surprise him with flowers, and on Sunday mornings they'd stay in bed having amazing sex until they exhausted each other to the point of falling back asleep in each others' arms. Kurt would always blush at the thought of sex but the idea of it was something he had always longed for, but not just with anyone, with someone he loved with all of his heart and who loved him.

_You matter Kurt._

His father's word's had always stuck with him after that ill fated attempt at "the talk" between them years ago, but even then Kurt knew it would be a very long time before he would be doing anything with anyone.

"Hey Kurt! Here comes your man."

He glared at the other woman, Crystal, who often shared the booth with him during her shifts, and he turned forward right as Mr. Blue Eyes walked up, right on cue, once again chatting away on his mobile phone.

Kurt took his money and gave him his ticket and received a smile and a wink in return. It was later in the day and there were a few people around and so Kurt just watched as he walked away towards his platform.

_Get a grip on yourself_.

"Finally propose yet?" Crystal asked teasingly.

Kurt just kept watching Mr. Blue Eyes resting his chin gently in his gloved hand.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Crystal laughed gently shaking her head as she turned back towards her window, leaving Kurt to his thoughts.

That's when it happened, the moment that would set into motion the events that would change Kurt and his life forever.

Two hooded figures seemed to come out from nowhere. Mr. Blue Eyes wasn't even aware of their approaching presence and Kurt could see what was about to go down.

Quickly he leapt from his seat and began banging against the glass trying in vain to get Mr. Blue Eyes' attention, but he remained aloof. The two hooded figures used him being distracted to their advantage, there was a scuffle as Mr. Blue Eyes was knocked to the ground and he began to fight back with the two men. Crystal was in shock at Kurt's side as he rushed to the door leading out of the closed off room, he told Crystal to call 911 and without even thinking he rushed out heading towards the three men.

"Hey! Hey!" He yelled out without thinking.

This must have caught the two hooded men off guard because they roughly shoved Mr. Blue Eyes backwards as they ran from the scene. Kurt barely caught the sight of Mr. Blue Eyes just as he went over the edge of the platform, landing right on top of the subway track.


	2. Chapter 1

"Mister! Mister! Are you ok?" Kurt shouted from where he stood on the platform. He could hear Crystal yelling something about cops and EMTs but Kurt couldn't decipher anything she was saying. He was focused squarely on the man on the tracks below him, the man who wasn't moving.

Biting his lip he slowly climbed down onto the tracks himself. He approached the man and crouched down next to him. Kurt cocked his head and couldn't help the smile that crossed his face as he stared down at the other man.

"God you're gorgeous." He whispered before he shook his head quickly.

"Get yourself together Kurt. The man is unconscious and you're being insanely creepy and-"

He stopped himself when he heard the loud whistle-like break sound indicating the approaching subway train.

"Oh God! No no no no! This is not happening! This is not happening! Mister wake up!" His hand instinctively reached out and shook the man's foot. "Mister! You have to wake up! There is a train-" Kurt chanced another glance towards the train which was still quickly approaching. "There is a train coming very fast, you have to get up! Please wake up!"

He crawled forward and tried tugging on the man's jacket, but could hardly get him to budge.

"God this is not good. Not good!" Kurt hesitated and felt at a loss. "Mister please you have to-God you smell divine-Focus Kurt! Uh…Uh…"

The train was almost there, Kurt only had seconds before…

Without thinking he quickly used every ounce of strength he had and rolled himself and Mr. Blue Eyes off the track and into the small space adjacent to the tracks and the loading platform. Kurt felt and heard the train speed past them seconds later.

Letting out a deep breath he hadn't realized he was holding he looked down and found himself straddling the man and feeling the warmth coming from his body. He would have felt embarrassed if it hadn't been for the fact that at that exact moment the man opened his eyes and Kurt found himself looking directly into two beautiful dark blue eyes.

"Hi." He whispered. "Don't worry, you're ok now." And just like that the man's eyes closed again and he was out.

It didn't take very long before the cops and paramedics arrived. Kurt watched as the man was strapped to the hospital stretcher and loaded into the ambulance. He felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned to find Crystal standing next to him, with an expression of deep concern etched across her face.

"I found this." She said holding out a thick black leather wallet to Kurt who took it from her without question.

"Those men must have dropped it when they ran. Maybe you should give it to the cops?"

Crystal looked shaken, and Kurt could understand but he felt oddly numb. He'd literally just saved a man's life while risking his own in the process, a man he didn't even know or had even spoke a single word to. He should have been shaking uncontrollably, but he wasn't.

"Cooper Anderson."

Kurt looked at Crystal again curiously, who still seemed to be in a shocked daze.

"What?" He asked confused.

"His name. It's Cooper Anderson. I figured since you risked your life to save him you should at least get a name out of it." She said shrugging slightly.

Nodding to himself Kurt made his way over to one of the cops and handed over the wallet; Cooper Anderson's wallet.

Kurt rushed from the taxi he had taken and had had it follow closely behind the ambulance taking Cooper Anderson to the closest hospital. His boss had let him off early, even with it being Christmas Day and even though Kurt had been originally hoodwinked into working, but considering what had transpired his boss gave him a break.

He nervously bit down on his thumb as he made his way into the ER of the hospital, he watched as the stretcher was rushed in with the EMTs and paramedics trailing closely behind. Kurt tried to follow along but one of the doctors stopped him.

"I'm sorry sir you can't come back here."

"But…I…I just wanted…" Kurt was feeling so lost he could hardly get two words out properly.

The doctor, blocking him from Cooper, looked at him impatiently. "Only family is allowed to come back here. Are you family sir?"

Shaking his head automatically he started, "No, I…"

The doctor cut him off again. "Then I'm sorry sir but you can't come back here. You wait over there." He pointed roughly towards the crowded seating area and without another word the doctor turned and walked over to Mr. Anderson and started examining him. Kurt clutched his coat closer to his chest as he watched the doors close.

Sighing to himself he looked down at his feet before looking back up, still longing to be back there with a man he didn't even know.

"I was going to marry him." He whispered to himself without thinking.

Kurt didn't notice but an older nurse with a kind face had seen the whole interaction take place, had heard his barely audible statement, and she felt her heart go out to him. He looked around feeling unsure of what to do or where to go but she quickly stepped up to him.

"Excuse me young man." Kurt looked over at her. "I think I may be able to help."

She smiled gently at him and took his hand in her own.


	3. Chapter 2

"Go on in sweetheart."

Kurt looked over at the nurse still feeling unsure, his gaze locked on Cooper's unconscious form. "Are—Are you sure? I mean that doctor in the ER said…"

"Oh honey, Dr. McMann is a certified jackass. Plus, I am not going to allow one jaded doctor stand between two people in love."

Kurt's head turned quickly to hers as she spoke. "Wait—What do you…"

"Shh! Go on in now. Talk to him. He may be unconscious but it helps. Trust me!"

Kurt felt the nurse literally shove him forward and he had to quickly steady himself on his feet to avoid falling. Daring one last glance at the nurse who gave him a hopeful smile and a thumbs up, he walked the rest of the way into the room.

He found himself forgetting about the last hour as he looked down at Cooper Anderson. Kurt felt the familiar twitch at the corner of his mouth and before he could stop it he smiled. Slowly, he set his coat on the back of the chair next to the bed and he pulled it forward, closer to Cooper Anderson.

It felt weird to be sitting here, alone, with a man he'd never said a single word to, a man who more then likely didn't even know he existed. He sighed softly to himself, trying to figure out what he was going to do now.

"Hi. It's me again." His voice was soft and he felt like an idiot as he spoke.

_What am I doing? What the hell am I even doing here? I should go. Definitely. I should… _

Kurt was startled from his thoughts by a loud cluster of voices, voices coming directly from the hall, moving directly into the room he was currently in. His body seemed to react on its own accord, and he literally shot up from his seat. His foot twisted slightly and he lost his balance and he ended up falling backward, taking the chair down with him.

For a moment, everything went dark.

Kurt felt himself being pulled up into a sitting position and he opened his eyes. There were multiple concerned faces looking back at him.

The nurse who had helped him into seeing Cooper was next to him, gripping his hand tightly as she helped him stand on his feet.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" She asked gently.

Kurt could feel the ache at the back of his head from where it had collided with the floor.

"Um…yeah I—I think so."

"Here, let's get you back in your seat for a second. The doctor will take a look at you just to make sure you're definitely ok."

The nurse got him settled before a shorter, balder, huskier man stepped towards him and shined a light directly into his eyes. Kurt tried pulling away but the doctor held him in place looking in both eyes before turning the light off.

"Sorry son, just had to check your pupils. You feeling ok?"

Kurt rubbed his eye and wondered if he could develop a case of delayed blindness.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." He mumbled rubbing his eyes a little more.

The older man in the group of newly arrived people cleared his throat, drawing in everyone's attention, including Kurt's.

"I'm glad to see that this young man is in good health, but what I'd like to know is who exactly is he and why is he in here with my son?"

The man didn't appear angry, just genuinely curious, as did the rest of the people in the room. He had brownish hair (like Cooper) but his had graying accents as well as a pair of kind blue eyes (again like Cooper) and he appeared to have a bit of height to him as well (just like Cooper). Standing close to him was a woman, shorter and with a softer olive complexion. Her eyes were almost like a doe's, big with hazel coloring. Her dark brown hair came down past her shoulders that only seemed to accent her high cheekbones.

Another woman with a graying head of natural blonde hair and soft green eyes looked back at him as he looked around the room before finally seeing the last new face. The woman couldn't have been older than he was, in fact Kurt was almost positive they were roughly the same age. She had long curly dark brown hair (just like the shorter older woman) and a pair of large hazel eyes (again just like the older woman). The only difference between herself and the older woman was that she had a slightly fairer complexion and she was taller.

They were all looking at him expectantly and he knew they were all waiting for him to speak, to say something, to introduce himself and explain why he was here in their son's hospital room.

Kurt swallowed tightly and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off before he got a chance to get anything out.

"Nurse Darlene! What is he doing here?" It was the same doctor from the ER who had prevented him from remaining at Cooper's side.

The nurse who had helped Kurt stepped forward and held her head up defiantly.

"Dr. McMann I know what you said about him being allowed in here, but I refused to see the fiancé of one of our patients be shut out from being by his side; especially since said fiancé risked his own life to save him."

Kurt felt himself cringe and his eyes widened as all heads turned towards him.

"Be that as it may, this hospital has rules and since this man is not a relative we cannot…"

"Dr. McMann." The sound of the older doctor echoed inside the room, silencing the younger doctor. "Last time I checked New York City allows for same-sex couples to marry, and since this young man has done so much to ensure the safety of his soon-to-be husband, I do not see why allowing him the right to visit with our patient would be an issue."

The younger doctor cleared his throat. "Dr. Jacobson with all due respect this hospital has rules and…"

"With all due respect to you doctor, but this boy is family!" The older man said loudly stepping forward, he pulled Kurt up from where he was sitting, and embraced him in a tight hug.

Kurt felt like he was about to be crushed by this man who held him tightly before pulling back just slightly to look Kurt directly in the eyes.

"He saved my son's life. And apparently Cooper is a better judge of character than I ever gave him credit for because if anyone my son loves is willing to risk their own life to save him then I am more than ok with him or her joining our family."

The man quickly pulled Kurt back into his arms, tightly hugging him. Kurt felt another pair of arms wrap around him.

"You saved my baby. Thank you so so very much."

The arms untangled after a moment and he found himself looking into the eyes of the shorter older woman with hazel eyes.

"See Dr. McMann. The family is more than ok with having him here. I think we should give them some privacy."

"But Dr. Jacobson I really don't think…"

"I'm not asking you for your thoughts Dr. McMann. I'm your superior so I am telling you, we are going to give this family some time to be alone with our patient, their loved one. Let's go. Darlene can you help me out in the hallway for a moment, I have some notes I need to go over with you so I can finalize the first part of Cooper Anderson's file?" The older doctor asked, and the nurse nodded before walking out with the men, leaving Kurt, alone with Cooper's family.

"That was a nasty fall you took, go on and sit down again son, please."

Kurt, who was trying desperately hard to find the right words to say, simply nodded and sat back down in the chair next to him. They all just sat in a long moment of awkward silence. Kurt could feel his heart racing and his palms beginning to sweat.

"Oh! Where have our manners gone. My name is Charlotte." The older, shorter, darker haired woman spoke softly with a smile.

"I'm Cooper's stepmother, though he does love calling me Ma."

"I'm James. I'm Cooper's father, but I'm sure our resemblance gave that one away." He said with a small smile and a wink. Kurt nodded wordlessly, dumbfounded at what was happening.

"I'm Lyra. I'm Cooper's younger, and he'd say bitchier, sister. But I just like keepin' it real. You know?" The younger dark haired woman said with a cheeky grin.

"And I'm Celine. I'm Cooper's—Well all the kids' Godmother. I've known Charlotte since we were both in grade school. Don't let my gray hairs fool you or her lack of them, she just has a bit of help from a bottle…"

"Celine!" Charlotte said loud enough to shut the other woman up, but Kurt could see the blush rapidly beginning to appear on her face.

"We came as soon as we heard. The doctor gave the update on his condition, but other then that. What the hell happened?" James asked looking down at Kurt who felt his hands flex out of nervousness.

"And I didn't think Cooper was dating any guy at the moment? I mean we all know he's open to whatever but I thought he was with what's-her-face, Christine? Angel? Angelica? Whatever, the bitch with the dog."

"Lyra!" Charlotte called out harshly towards her daughter.

"What? I wasn't insulting the poor Shih Tzu, people call female dogs bitches. What's-her-face on the other hand really did look like a do…"

"That's enough Lyra." Celine said in a stern voice, but the soft smile forming on her lips did not escape Kurt who was just in awe of what was happening around him.

Kurt looked around again at all the expectant looks on all of their faces.

_What in the world am I going to do? This thing is getting out of control. _

"Honey?" Celine asked softly kneeling down in front of Kurt with a concerned expression on her face. "Are you still with us?"

Licking his lips, again due to his nerves, he nodded and cleared his throat quickly. "Sorry, I'm—I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment."

Smiling kindly, Celine squeezed his knee and stood back up. "I'm sure that's an understatement."

There were a few soft laughs at that before it got quiet and everyone turned to look at Cooper. Charlotte walked over to where he lay and picked up his hand and stroked it with her own.

"So, what's your name?" It was Lyra asking him as she pulled the other chair in the room up next to the one he was sitting in.

"My name?" Kurt asked, still unsure of how he found himself in this situation.

"Yeah! Your name. Surely the man my big brother is going to marry has a name, right? So what is it?"

"Kurt." He said quietly. "Kurt Hummel."

James seemed to be thinking deeply before smiling at Kurt. "I like it. Kurt. Strong name."

"Were you named after one of the characters from 'The Sound of Music'?" Lyra asked.

Blushing, Kurt ducked his head down while his hands nervously played with the frayed edges of his dark gray sweater.

"Yeah, I was actually. It was my mother's favorite movie."

"The only reason I know that is because my brother Blaine is obsessed with musicals. When we were growing up I must have been forced to watch 'The Sound of Music' at least a hundred times, and that is not an exaggeration. I'm sure Cooper's told you all about Blaine."

Kurt had started to shake his head "no" when Charlotte let out a soft gasp gripping James' arm hard.

"Oh my goodness Blaine! James when did he say he was coming by to see Cooper?" Charlotte asked in a slight panic.

"Calm down Charlotte, once I let him know Cooper was ok, I told him to just finish picking up the last two truck loads we originally were going to pick up tomorrow and then come by the house tomorrow morning and then we'll come by and see Cooper together as a family."

Smacking his shoulder gently, Charlotte looked back at Cooper. "You work Blaine too hard sometimes, you know that?"

"He appreciates it. Plus, I know that when I hand over the business to him, he'll know what he's doing. Blaine's got a good head on his shoulders."

"Blaine's my twin brother, but I'm still his older sister; born a minute apart. You'll love him!" Lyra said with a smile at Kurt as she reached over and took his hand in hers.

Kurt felt at such a loss that he tried to excuse himself quickly before the family converged more on him, but Lyra held tight to his hand and her expression saddened a bit.

"Tell us what happened Kurt. Please?"

Kurt looked around the room and his heart ached for this family. He knew he owed it to them to tell them what happened to their son, and so he started recounting how he managed (with a bit of luck) to save Cooper Anderson.


	4. Chapter 3

It had been a long and exhausting afternoon. After going into all the details about how he had saved Cooper's life, the Anderson family had asked him for details on himself. He felt strange talking about himself with virtual strangers but they seemed to be genuinely interested in knowing more about him, probably in an effort to keep their minds off of their unconscious son. Then after an hour of divulging limited details about himself, he had excused himself explaining that he had work in the morning, which wasn't a complete lie, but he didn't have to be there until noon-ish. He succeeded in excusing himself and ended up nearly running into the nurse Darlene who had helped him see Cooper, the same nurse who had stood up for him, and who just happened to be the same nurse who had announced to everyone that he and Cooper were engaged.

"Going home for the night?" She'd asked with a smile.

"Why did you say that?"

Her smile faltered slightly. "Um, it just looked like you were headed home for the night and I…"

"No, no. Why did you tell them I was Cooper Anderson's fiancé?"

The nurse ended up just looking confused at this. "Because you said you were sweetheart."

Kurt looked at her, now confused himself.

"I never said…"

"Yes. Yes you did. After Dr. McMann told you that you couldn't be in the room with Mr. Anderson because you weren't family. I heard you say that you were going to marry him."

Kurt's eyes widened and he felt himself run a hand through his hair, feeling even more frustrated at himself than usual.

"I was talking to myself. I was just saying stuff I imagine in my head from time to time. It's a habit. Sorry. I'm—I'm not his fiancé."

The nurse looked at him somewhat sympathetic before she glanced back down at her notes.

"Next time sweetie, you need to then humbly remind yourself of your single status and move on. Trust me, we all have to do that from time to time."

She looked back up at him with a small and understanding smile on her face.

Kurt tightened his coat around himself a bit more, nodded, and then walked down the hospital hallway towards the elevator that he was hoping would be quick. As the doors opened, a man in distinguished business attire stepped out just as a nurse came running up.

"Mr. Hummel?"

Kurt turned and looked at the nurse who held a box of things out for him to take. "These are your husband's things."

At Kurt's confused expression the man smiled. "Your husband, Cooper Anderson?"

Shaking his head quickly Kurt nearly stomped his foot in protest. "He's not my husband!"

The nurse seemed taken aback for a moment before offering another smile. "I'm sorry, your fiancé. They told me to bring you his things."

Then without any further exchange he handed off a box with several items that had been on Cooper's person during the accident. Kurt just wanted to cry and yell and shout and throw things.

_Why is this happening to me? Me and my big mouth. Why can't I control when and what I say out loud? Who verbalizes insane and imaginary thoughts they have in their head anyway? That's right, crazy people do. I think I've officially lost it. _

Figuring he had no other option he held the box closer to his chest and began entering the elevator, but the man who had just stepped off and who had witnessed the entire exchange between Kurt and the nurse stuck his hand back in the elevator and prevented the door from closing.

"Cooper Anderson?"

Kurt shook his head slightly. "No, I'm not…"

Shaking his own head, the man looked at Kurt oddly. "No, I know you're not Cooper Anderson. I'm actually his agent. I thought he was still dating Angelica, and I'm just in shock that he's been keeping a pretty young thing like you under wraps."

Kurt looked uncomfortable at the man's staring and felt himself instinctually grip the box he was holding tighter and closer to his chest.

"I may not be gay, but a guy can appreciate another man's obvious attractiveness right?"

Kurt didn't know what to say to that, but he felt his face heat up as he tried to look anywhere but at the man in front of him. Kurt had always felt he was interesting looking, but never really attractive and he'd certainly never had another man tell him that so it was weird hearing it.

"Are you going down, because I really need to…"

The man's face seemed to light up and he smiled while stepping back into the elevator letting the door close.

Kurt quickly pressed for the lobby floor and waited with what little patience he had left in him for the elevator to reach its destination.

"I'm glad to see he has somebody you know?" The man continued. "He just hasn't had the best year. I mean I've been working my ass off trying to get him as much work as I can, but with the holidays, and of course the accident that happened two months ago..."

His voice trailed off, and he was watching Kurt expectantly.

"I'm sorry, what accident?" Kurt asked, thinking it should be enough of a question to kill the last remaining minute or so of their hopefully soon to be cut short conversation.

"The accident. You know when he and I…Did he tell you it wasn't an accident? That's typical. Ok, I'm a talent agent, I am constantly making appointments and setting up auditions, and so I need easy access to a pen or pencil at all times. Despite what Cooper may have told you or lead you to believe, he is not my only client. I am a busy man. So yes two months ago when Cooper and I were playing our monthly game of "friendly" basketball I had a pencil in my back pocket and…"

The doors opened with a ding and Kurt practically flew out of the enclosed space with the other man not far behind. Kurt ended up learning way more about Cooper Anderson then he thought he would ever know. Turns out the "accident" scared Cooper both literally and figuratively. He no longer plays basketball and has a three-inch long scar down the shaft of his penis.

_What a day for learning things about people you seem to be stalking. Way to go Kurt!_

Kurt had quickly evaded any questions the man (he thinks his name may have been Mark) had directed at him and he had splurged and taken a cab home. It was nearing nine by the time Kurt was walking up the hallway stairs towards his apartment, the box still clutched tightly in his hands.

"Now I know my favorite tenant isn't trying to sneak past my door at this hour."

Kurt felt himself curse under his breath. Pushing his key into his door he turned slightly acknowledging his landlord's presence.

While giving him his best "leave me the hell alone smile" Kurt said, "I bet you tell all the out of luck boys from small towns who you just so happened to give a helping hand to by renting to them an apartment in New York City's gay district that they're you're favorite, am I right?"

The man was dressed in a tan tracksuit with tacky gold chains hanging around his neck. Kurt had to hold in the sigh he knew was building inside of him, because his sarcasm was always lost on his landlord.

"Kurt I am hurt. How could you ever think that anyone else could ever measure up to a sweet young thing like yourself huh? I'm just feeling kind of concerned that you've been out all day and are coming in at such a late hour."

"It's just after nine o'clock Lou, that's hardly late." Kurt tried to reason.

"For you it is though. You're usually home by now, preparing for a night in, and after having fed that precious cat of yours, try to decide which one of your favorite musicals to watch."

Kurt hated how pathetic his life sounded being summed up by his overly flirtatious landlord who was probably just hoping for an invite himself.

"I appreciate the concern Lou, really I do. But it's been a long day so think I'll do what you just suggested and go prepare for a night in. Thanks!"

Kurt didn't give Lou any time to respond. He quickly turned back towards his door and opened and closed it just as fast. He was alone again, in his one bedroom apartment. He slowly made his way into his kitchen and set the box down on the side.

"That can wait." Kurt said softly to himself.

Even if it had only been a few hours ago he met what seemed to be an amazing family, it now felt like light years away. He felt the loneliness from his "real life" beginning to creep back in on him. He felt something rub up against his leg. Startled just briefly he looked down and found himself looking down on his cat Liza. She was purring and ready for the attention she'd been missing out on all day.

He smiled softly at her and bent down and picked her up.

"At least I have you." He said with a sigh.

He did hear from his father on occasion, but it always felt so stifled and Kurt could feel the distance that had built between them, which had wedged itself between himself and his entire family. He hadn't seen any of them (his dad, stepmother Carole, and stepbrother Finn) in nearly three years, and had only been speaking with his father sporadically in that time. But if Kurt was being honest with himself, he had always felt alone, even when he had been living at home and had the support of his father. He was one of those people who had always felt alone even in a crowded room. It had hurt him for a long time, but when he had accepted that he was most likely going to be alone forever he became numb to it. He longed for the closeness he'd felt with his father when he was younger, but now he felt like he was too big of a disappointment for his father. Even if his father had never said so, Kurt felt in his heart that having a son who had developed an eating disorder (even if he was bullied) and who had to fight through recovery with it, who had had to "run away" from his problems, who had given up the dream of big lights and Broadway in favor of working in the subway, it would be too much for any parent, especially one like Burt Hummel; who had given up so much (Kurt felt) for his son. Kurt didn't want to be a burden on his father anymore (even if his father had never implied or indicated he was in anyway) so that's why he kept his distance.

Kurt knew he wasn't the same quick witted, fabulously dressed, smart minded, and resilient person he had been in the midst of becoming before Karofsky came into the picture. Kurt still dreamed, and he used to dream big, but with the way his life was turning out it was becoming more difficult to keep those things alive inside of him.

_I feel like I'm barely staying above water. _

Kurt sat on his couch, Liza laying lazily across the cushion beside him, and he realized where he would rather be. He felt he needed to go back to the hospital. There was no way he was going to spend the next several hours cooped up in his undecorated (Kurt doesn't do Christmas) apartment with his cat and his thoughts of everything that's been wrong in his life. He had to go to his bright spot again. Cooper.

So he found himself once again in Cooper's room, this time alone. Nurse Darlene, who had helped him out before had been on her way out and she had smiled sadly at him as she allowed him to check back in and ushered him back to the hospital room.

Kurt didn't know what to do next so he just silently (and a bit hesitantly) reached over and took the older man's hand in his own. He glanced towards the door thinking someone would waltz inside and catch him off guard.

It felt strange holding Cooper's hand. It was the first time he'd ever held any man's hand.

"I got all the way home only to realize that I'd rather be back here, with you. Funny right? A man I've never even said two words to, who has never even spoken a word to me, is the one person I'd rather be with then stay at home." Kurt said softly, moving his chair a bit closer to the bed. He gently stroked his thumb over Cooper's unmoving hand and he let out a soft sigh.

"You know this is the first time I've ever held another man's hand before, not including my dad who doesn't count, so it's kind of a big deal for me." He said with a soft smile but it quickly faded. "I wonder, if you were awake if you'd want me to hold your hand or if you'd even want to hold mine. My name's Kurt by the way, Kurt Hummel. We've never formally met, but I've met your family and they all seem amazing."

He leaned over and found himself looking Cooper's form up and down. His other hand came up and stroked his hair back away from his face. Kurt didn't know if he would rather smile or cry in that moment.

"You're family thinks we're engaged." He continued quietly while just staring down at Cooper. "The nurse she thought…I had no idea anyone heard me when I—I didn't mean for this to happen."

He felt defeated. Trying to have a one-sided conversation with an unconscious man felt very strange and it could take a lot out of someone (apparently). Kurt sat back in his chair next to the hospital bed, pulling both his hands back deciding to keep them in his lap.

"I fell for you the first time I saw you." He went on to say, looking down at his hands as he spoke. "You were everything I had ever hoped for in a man, looks wise I mean, because I don't even know you as a person and…Anyway, you became the one bright spot in my day, in my life actually. I—I've been through a lot and I honestly began to feel like there was nothing else out there for me and then…you appeared. You smiled at me and I started dreaming again, I began allowing myself to dream again; you gave me the one thing I had lost a long time ago, you gave me hope. And I don't know if you can hear me or not but I just wanted to say thank you for that and I'm sorry for the whole mix up with your family. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell them the truth, but it hasn't come to me yet."

Kurt looked up hopefully at that and he watched as Cooper remained unconscious and asleep.

"I'm not pathetic. I'm just…" Kurt felt his throat tighten and he leaned forward again. He took Cooper's hand in his and he squeezed it gently, just hoping for a reaction, but nothing happened.

"I'm just lonely."

Kurt just sat there watching Cooper, listening to the beeps of the machines attached to the older man, and his back was to the door. If he had turned around he would have become aware of the older graying blonde woman standing just outside the open hospital room door, with tears in her green eyes.

Celine held a hand to her lips, and she felt both shocked and completely saddened by what she had just heard; and she had heard everything. As she watched Kurt rest his head against his and Cooper's joined fingers, she quietly turned and walked away consumed with her thoughts on what she had just heard and witnessed.


	5. Chapter 4 Part 1

Kurt felt himself nodding off again. His day had felt like a blur and it was almost time to leave work. He had fallen asleep at the hospital the night before and then he'd been awakened by the Andersons.

He had felt confused and unsure of his surroundings at first as he'd rubbed his eyes, only realizing then that he had in fact fallen asleep. Kurt had fallen asleep in Cooper's hospital room and now he was face to face with his family

"Kurt you came back!"

Kurt was met by the bright smile of Lyra. She squeezed his shoulder gently and looked over at the rest of her family. Kurt straightened himself out a bit and cleared his throat.

"I—I couldn't stay away."

He watched how everyones' face softened and Charlotte walked over and wrapped her arms around him in an awkward half standing-half sitting hug

"Of course you couldn't sweetheart. When you love someone there's nowhere else you'd rather be."

Smiling weakly Kurt still felt the exhaustion from the last few days begin to kick in.

"We thought you said you had work today…"

Before Charlotte could finish Kurt had bolted from the chair. He had only just noticed the time, and he had less than an hour to get to work.

"I—I do, I just—I can't believe I fell asleep. I am truly sorry for this, but I have to go or I'll be late and I really can't…"

"We understand Kurt." James spoke up and nodded his head towards the others.

"I—I really am sorry maybe I'll see you all back here later or something." Kurt grabbed his coat and pulled his arms through it as he spoke unable to look at anyone else in the room.

"Actually before you go we wanted to ask you…"

Kurt looked up and over at James as he glanced towards his wife Charlotte who just smiled sweetly and nodded gently.

"We didn't get a chance to celebrate Christmas because of all this, so we're having a nice dinner and small family get together this Saturday." James said with a smile.

"New Years Eve?"

Kurt's voice still sounded rough because of sleep and the wave of exhaustion hitting him all at once.

"Yes, we thought we'd combine the two. Anyway, we don't know what your schedule is like or if you have any plans but we would love it if you could come."

That stopped Kurt from the quick fastening of his coat.

"You want me to come to your family party?"

Kurt was beside himself in disbelief.

James walked over and wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulder and grinned at him and then looked at the others in the room.

"Well, considering you're engaged to my son, you're practically family anyway. Unless of course you had plans or…"

Kurt glanced around at the others in the room and he could feel his heart beating quicker and quicker with each passing second. It had been a long time since he had had anything remotely resembling a family Christmas or holiday. He hated the idea of continuing the lie and possibly hurting this wonderful family, but that lonely part inside of him was just begging for him to take the Andersons up on their offer.

_Just this one thing, and then the next day you come clean. No matter what._

Shaking his head lightly, he turned his head towards James and smiled.

"No I don't have any plans for Saturday. I'd love to come."

James's smile grew even bigger and he hugged Kurt "bear hug style" and laughed as Charlotte rushed over and threw her arms around him as well. Kurt caught Lyra's smile and gentle laugh and then the soft gaze of Celine who was watching him closely. It made him feel somewhat self-conscious and he wasn't exactly sure why. It was too easy to become taken in by the warmth this family exuded. He hadn't felt this close with any of his family, especially his dad in years. It still hurt to think about.

"Now we know you have to go, so here's our home address," James said as he pulled a business card out of his coat pocket and wrote a few lines on the back out of it. "This also has my business number and cell number in case something happens and you can't make it. Otherwise we'll be expecting you."

Smiling and feeling dazed he took the card and gave a few short nods to the others in the room and began making his way out of the room.

Only briefly stopping short of the door as Lyra called out to him.

"You'll finally be able to meet Blaine! He keeps getting held up, but he never misses a family get together, especially Christmas. He has an unhealthy obsession with the holiday. He's annoying, but you'll adore him."

Kurt glanced over his shoulder at the family and offered a small smile.

_If he's anything like the rest of the family, I'll love him._

"Late night?"

Crystal who, unlike most days where she spent her shifts with Kurt, was coming in to relieve him and brought Kurt out of his thoughts.

Smiling weakly Kurt stood up and stretched.

"Just a bit tired. I didn't get much sleep."

Smirking to herself Crystal sat down and began taking her gloves off.

"There wouldn't be anyone special that might have caused your lack of sleep would there?"

Crystal was always a lover of gossip and juicy relationship news, and she had been trying for the last year to get Kurt out and dating. She wanted him to find someone special, because Kurt was special and she told him so, quite often too.

Rolling his eyes as he pulled on his jacket again, which had sat on the back of his chair during his shift, he just shook his head.

"Crystal if there was anyone in my life you would be the first…"

"Kurt?"

The voice cut through the air like a razor and Kurt felt himself still mid-sentence and he turned his head slowly towards the window.

The woman shifted slightly under his and Crystal's gaze. It had been at least three good years since Kurt had seen her and the fact that she had just shown up unannounced like this was throwing Kurt through a loop.

He let his arms fall to his sides and he just looked at her bewildered.

"Rachel?"

Smiling the woman walked up closer to the window.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked still shocked.

"I—"

"Look some people have places to be. I don't have time for a damn social hour."

Rachel, Cyrstal, and Kurt both looked back at the man who had come up behind her unexpectedly and was impatiently taping his foot.

"There is no reason to…" Crystal started but Rachel cut her off. "No it's ok. Here I'll buy a ticket."

She reached into her purse and handed over the few dollars allowing her entrance past the gate. Smiling as Crystal took the cash, Kurt quickly kissed her cheek and said goodnight and that he'd give her all the details on everything later, and he was out the door.

Kurt and Rachel had found a nice bench to sit on just outside of the subway station and they sat down together. She had nervously begun to twist her beret in her hands as Kurt watched her carefully. When she'd taken it off, he'd been shocked to see how short and completely different her hair really was now. Instead of the long brown locks he could remember from the years of knowing her in Lima her hair was now a short ear length blonde bob. To say Kurt was shocked would have been an understatement.

Yes, he'd had been excited to see Rachel again, but an even bigger more curious and perhaps cynical part took over once the shock had drifted away and he was now wondering why in the hell she was here, with him acting like he might bite her head off with one wrong move.

"I've been wanting to see you Kurt. For…For a while now." She confessed softly, turning her gaze to his sitting form on the other end of the bench.

His eyebrow quirked up at this and he crossed his arms in front of him defensively, without even thinking. "I find that hard to believe Rachel." He couldn't keep the disbelief and sarcasm from attaching itself to his words.

Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to begin speaking but he cut her off.

"Look, you've known where I work since I got the job over five years ago. You're in constant contact with everyone back home, including Finn-my stepbrother and your former boyfriend/fiancé-and if you had wanted to get a hold of me all you had to do was ask him, my dad and I may not talk often but he knows where I live and work. I just find it hard to believe that after all the years you and I haven't been in touch you would have been wanting to get in contact with me. Rachel Berry does what she wants when she wants; at least you always did before. Unless this is about your new hair style because honestly Rachel, the jury's still out on that one."

Rachel reached up and touched her hair in a gesture of self-consciousness and she actually appeared shy for a moment.

"Yeah, Jesse thought it might be…"

"Jesse? As in Jesse St. James? Really Rachel?"

"Kurt no! No, no, no. Jesse and I are over. Yes, we may have dated in high school and for a few months that first year here in New York but it's not like that anymore. He runs his own theatre company/ talent agency here in New York now. It's actually starting to take off and well after I graduated from NYADA and after my brief stint as the lead in a very heart warming but completely clichéd original off Broadway production he asked me to come work with him and he said he could help further my career. He thought changing my hair a bit for a commercial he had me go out for would seal the deal." She said with a less then happy smile. "It didn't."

Kurt just looked at her, saying nothing.

"You're absolutely right about…well everything regarding being able to get a hold of you, but I honestly have been wanting to see you again. I haven't been doing much, work wise, and I started going through old photos and videos from high school, and there was some from the last year you were there and…"

"As great as going down memory lane would be with you Rachel, some of us have really deep wounds that are still pretty fresh and that we'd like to keep buried, so if you wouldn't mind please get to the point of all this."

Kurt knew he sounded harsh but he was not going to sit here and pretend that everything was peachy between them. Yes, after leaving McKinley, he and Rachel had become good friends even though she and the others had never seemed to care for him before his abrupt exit, but Kurt had worked through his misgivings and had developed an actual friendship with Rachel; only to have it all shatter when they both made their way to New York.

When Kurt had needed someone, Rachel hadn't been there. Her career had become her lone focus and everything (and everyone) had been pushed to the side. Ambition took over and Rachel seemed to not look back.

Rachel shifted so that she was looking at Kurt directly from her end of the bench and she watched him closely without speaking for several long moments.

He watched as she took a deep breath and spoke her words in a quiet voice.

"I want my best friend back."


	6. Chapter 4 Part 2

_OK, Kurt deep breaths. _

He looked up at the house that the Anderson family called home. He was nervous, and that was stating it mildly. Kurt felt his grip on the tupperware he was holding tighten. This felt wrong, _very wrong_. These kind-hearted people had welcomed him into their family under false pretenses and he hated deceiving them like this.

_God Kurt you really know how to screw things up._

He'd once again splurged, using money he really didn't have on a cab ride from the main part of the city to where the Anderson's lived, which happened to be a good twenty minutes from the city, just so he could technically crash the holiday party of the family who all thought he was the soon-to-be husband of their coma-stricken brother and son.

Kurt turned back again towards the street contemplating for the fifth or sixth time of just walking until he found a bus stop or taxi that could take him at least part way back to the city.

_I'll probably have to walk most of the way back anyway_.

But he almost jumped when he came face to face with a smiling Celine.

"I—I didn't know you were there." He said sounding a little on edge. Celine's smile didn't fade as she walked up closer to him.

"Sorry about that sweetheart, you just seemed to be in such a state of concentration I felt like it'd be criminal to interrupt your thoughts. With as much turning and walking back and forth you were doing I figured it was something serious."

His eyes widened and he found himself somewhat gaping at her.

"You saw me as I was…"

"I live right down the street, so I like to walk here. I started seeing your movement pretty much from the moment my feet left my front steps."

Kurt bit his lip and looked down at his gloved hands, both of which were gripping the dish he'd thought to make at the last minute for the party.

"You know, it's such a beautiful night, I think it might be nice just to take a few minutes to just stargaze. How about you?"

Kurt was again taken aback by her seemingly odd question, and he just looked back at her with a questioning raise of his eyebrow.

"Just humor an old woman sweetheart, ok?" She said gently with a smile taking one of his hands in her own.

She walked with him over to the steps near the front door of the Anderson family home and sat down forcing Kurt to join her. He kept the dessert he'd made in his lap and looked out at the disserted street wondering how his life had come to this.

Celine's gaze was on him for several long moments, going unnoticed by Kurt who was wrapped up in his own thoughts.

"It is strange to see the sky so clear this late in the year, don't you think?" she asked softly.

He was brought back from his thoughts and turned slightly towards her. Her eyes were on him, but they had a softness to them. He nodded quietly before finding himself unwittingly looking up at the sky. It was pretty clear and you could actually see several stars in the sky. For New York, the city, this was odd, especially in December. It brought back memories he had from when he was little, sitting with his mother and father in their backyard all the way back in Lima, Ohio. They would stargaze as a family, especially during the summer, before his mother's accident. His mother and father would hold hands while he would cuddle between them. Sometimes he would find himself chasing after lightning bugs and catching one before taking it back to show his parents. His father would always chuckle at him and try to ruffle his hair a bit while his mother would simply smile at him. He had always been told he had her smile, and sometimes he could just barely remember what hers looked like.

His mother would always have him open his tiny hands and they'd watch the bug fly away free and she'd tell him that no matter how many lightning bugs there were, each and every one of them was special in their own way (just like the stars in the sky she would always add); and that only when separate from a group would the lightning bug be able to shine showing just how special it really was. She would always call him her little lightning bug.

Kurt had no idea why he was suddenly thinking of his past like that, sitting with a woman he was basically (no he was doing it outright) lying to, a woman who was part of a family who were all treating him with every bit of kindness in the world.

_You are so going to Hell._

"You know they wont hurt you."

Celine's voice once again brought him back from his thoughts.

"I'm sorry. I just…I have a lot on my mind."

Smiling knowingly, Celine patted his knee and tightened her grip on his hand.

"You know I've known Charlotte for quite sometime, as I've told you." She began and Kurt looked at her curiously.

"She and James met because of his first wife. She was mine and Charlotte's other close friend. Her name was Amy." Celine said with a sad smile.

Kurt just sat quietly as Celine paused and took a long deep breath before continuing, he was unsure as to where this was all going.

"Amy died in childbirth, with Cooper. It had been a long and difficult pregnancy but she was just so stubborn, no one and nothing was going to prevent her from having her baby and she did. She ended up bleeding out."

"Celine I am so sorry. I—"

She held up her hand and he closed his mouth immediately.

"It's sad, I know. We would all give up everything to have her back if we could. She was such a bright light in our world. She always made you feel welcome and loved, no matter if you were a long time family friend or if you were just meeting her for the very first time. Amy loved people and people loved Amy. I think that's where Cooper gets it from, whereas he gets his confidence and some would say cockiness from his father. As I'm sure you've gathered already."

Kurt felt his face heat up and he had to duck his head down for a few moments as she continued, smiling even brighter than before at his actions.

"Charlotte and James grew close after Amy passed away. She was always coming by the house to make sure little Cooper had enough diapers and formula and to see if James needed her help watching him and sometimes she'd come by with dinner or she'd make dinner while she was there. Anyway, long story short they ended up falling in love over the course of a year or so going back and forth with each other. They had felt so guilty at first because of Amy, but I told them that Amy would have wanted them both to be happy and loved. In my opinion, if Cooper couldn't have had Amy as a mother he got the next best thing in Charlotte. It was wonderful and then they got married, and lived happily for several years content with just being the three of them. Then on the morning following Cooper's ninth birthday, Charlotte found out she was pregnant. Then around the same time the following year, Lyra and Blaine were born. Lyra was a little devil and a spitfire from the very beginning and Blaine…Well, he was Blaine. He's such a sweetheart, Kurt. It just breaks my heart knowing what he's been through and yet he's always got a smile on his face and he's always trying to make people smile. He's so selfless. He reminds me most of Amy, which sounds strange to say, since he's not biologically hers, but it's the truth. It's probably because out of the three of us, Charlotte and Amy were most alike. This family has triumphed over so much and I've been lucky enough to be a part of it and to be witness to it, and to have been asked to be the children's Godmother was such an honor."

Kurt met her smile with one of his own, but then she grew serious; the smile fading from her face.

"There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for them. They're my family Kurt, and I will look out for them and I will protect them with everything I have. They've been hurt enough in the past, and I will be damned if I let another person hurt them. Does all of this make sense?"

Her gaze was intense and Kurt felt extremely uncomfortable looking back at her, and he had to force himself to swallow. He nodded slowly, again.

"Yes, it does Celine. Even though I've only known them a short time, I can honestly say that they mean the world to me too, and I would be willing to do anything and everything to make sure no one hurts them."

She didn't say anything for several long moments as she appraised him critically, but then her face blossomed into a bright smile.

"I knew I liked you for a reason."

He felt relief hit him as his face once again began to heat up.

"Now, are you going to tell me what's in that plastic container or do I have to pry it out of your hands using the "Jaws of Life"?"

Kurt's laugh surprised both himself and Celine who smiled even brighter at the sound of it.

"It's just a little something I made. I wanted to do something. They've—you all have been so incredibly kind to me this last week that I just wanted to do something to show my appreciation. So, I made a rum chocolate soufflé."

Kurt smiled shyly at her after voicing his confession, and Celine leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek again taking him off guard.

"You really are something special, sweetheart." She spoke softly, beginning to pull away from him. "Now, let's get inside. There's only so much cold my old ass can take, plus there's more food inside too, and from what I've learned over the years is that the place with the most food is often times the best place to be."

Kurt could only laugh with her as he was pulled from where he sat and shuffled inside, feeling the warmth immediately hit him as he stepped over the threshold.

_**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: **__So sorry for the lateness of this update. I have been all over the place personally as of late, BUT now things are settling down and I will be updating twice a week from here on out. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I want to assure you all that Blaine WILL FINALLY be making his grand entrance into the story in the next chapter, and there will be much more with Rachel and all that good jazz. Thanks for sticking with me (to those who have) and I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Next update should be Saturday or Sunday. :) _


	7. Chapter 5 Part 1

"Oh! Now, this is an article about how Cooper saved a whole family of squirrels after they'd been knocked out of their nest by a group of kids from the neighborhood we were living in at the time. He was just eleven years old. Isn't that something Kurt?"

Kurt found himself seated between Charlotte and Celine on the couch, with a thick scrapbook filled with a seemingly unending amount of pictures and articles all featuring Cooper. He looked around the room casually and couldn't help feeling the warmth that was overtaking him. The family had a large pine tree, decorated with what Kurt thought was a bit too much tinsel and ornaments but it suited the atmosphere and this family. There was a fresh fire lit in the fireplace along with the smell of dinner wafting throughout the home, which was being dished out by James and Lyra.

Charlotte had latched onto Kurt the moment he and Celine had stepped inside the house. She wanted to show him everything from various baby books she had of Cooper as well as the large collection of family albums. He'd seen pictures of Cooper from when he was a baby to when he was a teenager to even the first headshots he'd taken as an actor. Kurt also saw glimpses of a younger Lyra and the brother he had yet to meet, Blaine. Blaine unlike Lyra seemed to linger in the background of most of the family pictures, though there was a picture of Blaine standing on a stage all decked out to the nines while he was apparently singing a mash-up of the songs "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" and "Kiss Me" at a talent show which Kurt found to be an interesting combination of song choice. Cooper, who was also in the picture, just barely visible by the stage curtain, had apparently worked it up.

Kurt found it hard to look away from the picture of the young Blaine. He seemed so full of energy and he had the sweetest looking expression on his face and his eyes were so big and seemed to be too large for his small head. Kurt couldn't help but smile at the picture; it would definitely be interesting meeting him.

"Mother! Kurt is probably bored out of his mind with you and Nana Celine gushing over Cooper. I think he could use a break." Lyra said as she pulled the book from Kurt's lap and tossed it onto the vacant recliner. "Besides, if I have to hear the story of how courageous Coop at the tender age of eleven saved a bunch of helpless squirrels one more time I think I'll hurl."

Kurt watched Lyra smirk as Charlotte scowled. "I'm also sure he has to be hungry, poor guy looks like he hasn't eaten in a week. Here Kurt, I made you a plate. I loaded it up with all the good stuff."

Kurt's eyes widened as Lyra thrust a plate into his hands, and he saw several slices of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, cranberry sauce, and corn. Kurt thought he was going to be sick. It's not like he didn't eat, he did, but it was difficult for him to eat in front of people he didn't know. He knew it all stemmed from when he was younger, and he knew he would probably always be this way.

Kurt offered a small smile in thanks and took a small bite of the food to try and appease Lyra, who smiled back at him afterward.

Kurt watched as the entire family gathered in the living room, all with their own plates of food and he just watched as they talked and laughed, always pushing him to join in and he would chime in with a word or two. It felt nice being with a loving family again after so long of not being around it.

_Too bad you're lying to them._

At that thought he felt his stomach churn. He could actually feel himself pale and he looked down at his barely touched food. Kurt took in a deep breath and turned to Lyra who had taken her mother's spot next to him.

"Where's the bathroom?" He asked as calmly as he could.

Lyra turned to him from the conversation she was engrossed in with her father, and her smile quickly faded from her face as she looked at him.

"Kurt are you ok?" She asked.

Kurt tried to smile but it came across as more of a grimace.

"I haven't been feeling that great today, and my stomach—I just need to…"

"Of course. Kurt. I understand. It's the second door on the left right down the hallway. Here I'll take your plate."

She took his plate and Kurt slowly stood up, he was aware of the looks of concern from the other family members as he made his way to the bathroom.

Kurt closed the door and quickly gripped the edge of the sink, leaning over it, while trying to breathe. He covered his face with his hands and resisted the urge to dash out of the house.

_This is so fucked up, Kurt. Even for you. What the hell are you doing? What do you think is going to happen once they find out that you've been lying to them? You need to get out of this and get out quick_.

Kurt looked himself in the mirror and he hated what he saw, as he usually did. Every time he looked at himself he saw how he used to have so much promise; how he had had so many dreams; how he had wanted to live a life far different from the one he was living now. Kurt didn't know how he was going to fix this but he knew he had too. He took a few more deep breaths before he leaned over and calmly flushed the toilet and he walked back out to the family room.

"And this one's for Kurt!"

Lyra rushed up to him as he re-entered the room, placing a nicely decorated box in his hands. The entire family was seated in a circle, all the plates of food had been disposed of, and his spot on the couch beside Celine was still waiting for him. Lyra directed him back to his spot and he calmly sat down, still unsure of what to do with the box in his hands. Everyone's eyes were on him and he was starting to feel awkward. He startled a bit when he felt Celine's hand on his arm.

"Sweetheart aren't you going to open your gift?"

"I—I'm sorry. I just—I didn't think there would be a gift exchange and I didn't get anything for any of you and…"

"Kurt, it's ok. Charlotte and I wanted to get you something nice, considering how much you've—well, we've all been going through and you've already become such a big part of our family, we just wanted to get you something nice. It's really no problem." James said with a sad smile on his face.

Kurt was still so unsure of what to say to that. It had been too long he'd experienced a situation like this.

He took a breath and smiled at everyone and began to open the box in his hands. Opening it, he almost gasped. Inside the box was a men's black _Dolce and Gabbana_ sweater. Kurt looked up confused and bewildered.

"I—I don't know what to say, this is too much. I…"

"Kurt. We just wanted to get you something nice, ok? We've noticed you have a black sweater you wear a lot that looks a bit worn, so we just thought you might like a new one."

Kurt could feel how soft it was against his fingers and he felt like he wanted to cry. They got him a _Dolce and Gabbana _sweater. He could feel his former teenage self, the teenager who (before everything started getting to be to hard to handle, before life had started to become too much for him) had loved everything there was about fashion doing flips of happiness inside himself. He now had an actual piece from _Dolce and Gabbana_, it felt so surreal.

"Thank—Thank you." Kurt stuttered out softly, feeling a bit choked up.

Celine reached around him and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

The present opening continued and Kurt just sat there holding the sweater too tight in his hands feeling overwhelmed by everything about this family. It made him miss his own family back in Lima. He wished he could over come his nervousness and shame and allow himself to go and see his Dad. The fact that it had been three years since he had last seen him made tears well up in his eyes.

The sound of the doorbell ringing made him come back from his thoughts and he watched Lyra jump up excitedly from the couch and she rushed to the door. There was a loud squeal of excitement and laughter from an unknown voice.

"Look who finally decided to show his face!" Lyra said loudly pulling a man forward with her into the room.

Kurt watched as Charlotte rushed to the man, who had soft curly dark hair, and hugged and kissed him.

_This must be Blaine._

"Mom," He said laughing. "It's good to see you too."

_God, why does his laugh sound so wonderful?_

"Did you get the last truck logged in?" James asked walking over to the small group, leaving Kurt and Celine alone on the couch.

The man, Kurt was assuming was Blaine rolled his eyes. "Yes, Dad. You'd think that as long as I've worked for you that you'd have more faith in me to know that I could do the very basics of my job."

"Of course I know that you can Blaine. That's why I trust you. Now can your old man get a hug or what?"

Blaine walked into his father's open arms and hugged him tightly. Kurt watched part in fascination and part in envy at the embrace. He could barely remember the last hug he and his own father had shared.

"So, does your Godmother warrant a hug or not?" Celine asked with a smile.

Blaine looked over at her, finally noticing her and his eyes shifted for a moment to Kurt. Kurt can feel his pulse start to race and his hands clenched up against the soft fabric of the sweater.

_His eyes are beautiful. What are they brown? They kind of looked a light greenish color. Hazel maybe? Kurt, now is NOT the time for this._

"Of course Nana. I could never forgo a hug from you, you know that." Blaine said with a smile as he gently hugged the older woman.

He pulled back gently and turned once more towards Kurt. Celine sat up straight and grabbed one of Kurt's hands before she spoke again.

"And this sweet young man is Kurt. He's Cooper's fiancé."

Blaine watched him for a moment with curious eyes and an overall unreadable expression on his face. Kurt shifted a bit uncomfortably where he sat, but he managed to look at Blaine and he offered up a small shy smile.

Blaine put his hand out to Kurt. "My name's Blaine."

Kurt felt himself laugh gently at the introduction but let his free hand shake Blaine's. "Kurt. And I kind of figured that one out. I've heard a bit about you."

Blaine let his hand go.

_He has such nice soft hands too._

He looks thoughtful for a moment, before he took the free spot next to Kurt on the couch.

"Well that's funny, because I haven't heard single a thing about you."

_This is not going to end well. Kurt you are so screwed. _


	8. Chapter 5 Part 2

"Kurt, sweetie this soufflé is delicious. Where on earth did you get the recipe?"

Kurt watched on as Charlotte consumed every last bite on her plate.

"It was my mother's."

"You are just full of surprises young man." Celine said with a gentle smile as she walked her dish over to the sink to rinse it off.

The family and Kurt had made their way to the kitchen after the gift exchange and they were all enthusiastic about trying his rum chocolate soufflé. Everyone seemed to love it and had voiced their opinions, all except Blaine who hadn't said much of anything since their introduction back in the living room nearly an hour earlier. Kurt kept catching Blaine watching him with an unreadable expression on his face. It made Kurt nervous and the uneasy feelings started returning from earlier making things extremely awkward for him.

"Oh my god! Guys the ball is going to drop in like five minutes, come on we can't miss it."

Kurt felt Lyra grab his hand, his still full plate forgotten, and he was ushered back to the living room and sat back in the same spot he had occupied earlier in the evening.

"It's family tradition." Lyra whispered as the rest of the family made themselves comfortable in front of the television. "Every year we watch the ball drop in Time Square. It's so much better than actually being in Times Square. It's a mad house. Have you ever been?"

Kurt smiled weakly at her enthusiasm and shook his head. He may have lived in New York City for several years but he had done much of anything, and going to Time Square was something he'd always wanted to go see, but he never had.

_Why would you go if you had no one to share it with?_

Kurt shook the thought away and he sat back stiffly and watched as the family prepared for the New Years count down.

This is what Kurt missed, had been missing for years now. If he hadn't felt like such a failure he would probably be with his own family right now, with his father. He would have found the courage inside of himself to claw his way back and become the fierce and fabulous person he had been on the brink of becoming before everything happened that changed that.

_You could be on Broadway right now. You could be home celebrating with your dad, Carole, and Finn. You could have an actual relationship right now. But you've screwed everything up, if only you had been stronger you could have made something of yourself, you could have made something of your life... _

"Kurt are you ok?"

Lyra's gentle voice broke him from his thoughts and he felt his face heat up.

"Ye—Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

Frowning slightly she reached over and wiped a tear from his cheek.

"You're crying." She said softly.

Kurt's eyes scanned the room rather quickly and noticed everyone else was all focused on the television. He looked back at her.

"I'm just happy to be here."

She watched him for another moment before smiling at him.

"Well, we're happy you're here too." He smiled back at her as she rested her head against his shoulder. "And next year it'll be even better because both you and Cooper will be here with us, and we'll all be celebrating as a family."

_Happy New Year. You are so going to hell._

An hour later, Celine had fallen asleep on the loveseat, and Charlotte and James had gone to bed so Kurt figured it would be best for him to leave. Kurt pulled his jacket on preparing himself for the long journey home.

_How you're going to get there is another story._

"I can take you home."

Kurt felt himself still for a moment before he looked over and saw Blaine standing in the entry way with him, he was holding the container with what was left from his soufflé in one hand and the box with his new sweater in the other.

"No, that's—that's not necessary. I'll just get a cab." Kurt spoke weakly. He felt like his stomach was in knots and he wanted to claw his way out.

Blaine gave him a curious look. "It's New Year's Eve, Kurt. There's no way in hell you're going to catch a cab, especially not in this part of town tonight. I can drive you, in fact I insist."

Lyra came out from the living room and playfully smacked Blaine in the arm.

"You're out of luck Kurt, once Blaine sets his mind to something he never backs down."

Kurt finished buttoning his coat and looked over at Blaine who was again giving him an odd look.

"I do love a challenge." Blaine said and Kurt felt uneasy.

Lyra laughed and walked over to Kurt and hugged him tightly. "Don't let Blaine scare you Kurt, he's just a stubborn jackass. I did tell you he was annoying didn't I?"

Kurt tried to smile the best he could at her but he still felt very wary of the situation.

"It's a good thing I'm known for being stubborn too. I think I'll be ok."

Blaine handed Kurt the soufflé and opened the door, holding the box with his sweater under his other arm.

"See Lyra, Kurt and I will get along just fine." He looked at Kurt for a moment as he spoke and Kurt resisted the urge to run.

The ride home was both silent and awkward, a least for Kurt who held both the remains of his soufflé and the box with his new sweater tightly in his lap. Blaine had come to the Anderson family home in a large moving van, so Kurt had needed to be helped up into the cab by Blaine himself. It was uncomfortable for Kurt as well as surreal and confusing. He had never had a guy touch him or be close to him as Blaine was being without there being a sense of trepidation or anger or frustration on the side of the other guy (in this case Blaine's side). Blaine was being a bit too quiet and reserved but it was in a way that was different from what Kurt had experienced with other guys before. He could feel Blaine's casual glances over at him and he anticipated an onslaught of personal questions, but they never came.

"Well, this is my stop." Kurt said with what he knew was way too much false cheer in his voice. "Thanks so much for—"

"I'll walk you to your door." Was all Blaine said as he climbed out of the driver's side door.

Kurt was surprised and it only took a matter of seconds before Blaine was opening his side of the cab and held out his hand for Kurt to hand him the items he was holding in his lap so he could climb out. Blaine managed to hold both the soufflé and the sweater with one arm while helping Kurt keep his balance with his other. Once he felt steady enough on his feet, Kurt tried to take back his stuff but Blaine shook his head.

"I've got it, just lead the way."

Kurt swallowed nervously and nodded before turning and beginning the walk towards the apartment building.

"So you actually live here?" Blaine asked quietly as they approached the aging building.

Kurt could see Blaine looking up at the somewhat rundown building and he was unsure what to make of Blaine's expression.

"Yep. This is it. Home sweet home."

Kurt wanted nothing more then to be inside his apartment, alone so he could gather his thoughts and try and make sense of everything that happened tonight.

"Huh." Was all Blaine could say to Kurt's confirmation.

"What?"

Blaine glanced over at Kurt as they came to the end of the walkway to the front of the apartment building.

"Nothing. It's nothing. I just—It's not what I expected." He said was a shrug.

Not sure what to make of that Kurt began to twist the knob on the door but stopped. He was curious now.

"And what were you expecting exactly?"

Blaine looked to be considering his next words when the door Kurt was holding onto was pulled open and before he could catch himself Kurt collided with Lou, his lovable but shameless landlord.

"Kurt! Sweetheart! I was beginning to worry about you. You never showed up."

Kurt had to pull himself back carefully making sure he was able to keep the distance he needed from his landlord.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Lou." Kurt said making a quick glance towards Blaine who appeared to be watching them both very closely.

"Kurt, that hurts my heart. You know I have a New Year's Eve party every year and I invite all my tenants to it. I was hoping to see you there tonight, maybe even catch you under the mistletoe and—"

"Well, sorry I missed it Lou, maybe next year. I've had a long night, so I'm just gonna head up stairs and get some beauty sleep." Kurt quickly turned towards Blaine and he took the items he had in his hands.

"Thanks so much for the ride home Blaine. Be careful on your way back. Have a goodnight!"

Kurt practically spun on his heel and rushed past his landlord and right up the few stairs to his apartment, which was the first door on the right. He knew the two other men had been watching him, but he didn't care, he just had to get away from them; the night along with the entire week had been nearly way too much for him to handle.

Kurt dropped the box with his sweater and the container with his soufflé on the sideboard in the kitchen and went to his phone. He dialed a number he hadn't dialed in ages and waited impatiently as it rang. He bit his nail as the knots in his stomach began to tighten.

"Hell—Hello?"

"Rachel?" He spoke feeling relief at hearing her voice, which was rather unexpected.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah. It's me. I know you told me to call you whenever I was ready to talk, and I know it's New Years and everything but…I need to talk."

There was a moment of silence on the other end, followed by what sounded like someone quickly shuffling around, before she spoke again.

"You still live at that place with that creepy landlord?"

Unable to stop the tiny laugh he nodded as he told her that he still did live in the building with the creepy landlord.

"I'll be there in an hour, wait traffic's going to be a bitch, make that like two hours. I'll try and hurry though, it might be sooner."

There was a click on her end signaling that she had hung up. Kurt hung his own up and he sank down on the sofa. He felt Liza begin nudging against his legs before she hoped up into his lap, her purring getting louder and louder.

He tried to glare at her but realized it was futile to even try.

"You're enjoying my misery way too much." He said softly as he ran his hand down her back.

(Meanwhile…)

Blaine had stood and watched Kurt's short exchange with his landlord who had no issue being openly flirtatious with him. The way Kurt kept looking back at Blaine himself, how nervous he had appeared to be especially when he was in the landlord's presence, seemed a bit odd to Blaine. Kurt had bolted and Blaine was left alone with the landlord (Lou?) and the other guy had eyed Blaine fiercely which was even more shocking for Blaine.

"And who exactly are you?"

Blaine was taken aback by the question but regained his composure quickly.

"I'm Blaine." On instinct he had offered his hand for the other man to shake but Lou had just ignored him.

"Well, Blaine." Lou spoke with what Blaine was sure was a clipped tone. "I don't know who you are or what you think you're doing with Kurt, but that young man is spoken for, in case you were wondering."

Blaine looked at him, confused. "Uh yeah, I know. My brother is…"

"Kurt and I have been dancing around each other for years now, and needless to say we're involved now."

Blaine felt himself almost choke on the air he was breathing in.

"You…You and Kurt are…" Blaine stops himself for a moment. "You two are like, together together?"

Lou looked at Blaine like he had sprouted a third arm and head. "Yeah, we are. So take whatever yous got goin' on here, and beat it."

Lou gave Blaine one last dirty look, turned, and went back inside the building; leaving Blaine alone with a million different thoughts running through his head.

Shaking his in disbelief he turned away and started back towards his van.

"Kurt Hummel you have a lot of explaining to do."


	9. Chapter 6 Part 1

"Wow."

Rachel was shocked, and Kurt couldn't blame her. She'd arrived just over an hour after he'd called her, with pints of chocolate ice cream (still vegan for her) and they'd spent the next hour on his beat up sofa as he finally broke down and told her everything that had happened in the last week.

"Kurt I…Wow…"

Kurt took another big spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. He knew it all had to sound so pathetic to another person.

_Who does things like this ACTUALLY happen to in real life? Maybe in the movies, but when has my life ever been anything close to resembling a movie?_

The thought made him dig for another large scoop.

Rachel was quiet for several long drawn out minutes. She seemed to be thinking.

"So when are you planning on telling them?" She finally asked quietly setting her pint and spoon down on the worn coffee table.

Kurt shook his head and sighed. "That's the thing Rachel. How the hell am I supposed to tell them? I really don't think 'Oh hey guys! Thanks so much for the expensive sweater and all the kindness you've shown me but I need you to know that I'm not actually your son's fiancé, in fact I haven't said more then two words to him and he doesn't even know I exist.' will go down well at all."

Kurt put his pint aside as well and curled further into the blanket he had wrapped around himself. Liza jumped up from where she'd been lying on the floor and padded her way over to Rachel who stroked her back gently.

"You do have to tell them though Kurt. It's only right."

Nodding in agreement but remaining silent Kurt closed his eyes briefly and let out the long-winded groan he'd been keeping inside for days.

"I guess my life will never be drama free, only this time it's because of my own big mouth. Only I would manage to get involved in a situation where a guy who I haven't said barely a word to gets mugged right in front of me, who also happens to be in a coma, whose family ends up thinking I'm his fiancé, and all of whom I ended up spending New Years Eve with where they gave a very expensive black sweater. I guess all I can manage to keep in my life is drama."

"You also have your family." Rachel spoke up thoughtfully.

"Rachel I haven't seen them in—"

"Three years I know." She said cutting him off. "They miss you Kurt. I know we haven't had much of anything to do with each other at all, but I can't tell you how many times Finn has called me up—don't look at me like that, we're always going to be friends—asking me if I'd finally got enough nerve up and called you and he's told me how much your dad is always talking about you around the house and—"

"Rachel please just don't ok."

Kurt reached over and picked up his now half melted pint of ice cream and he started picking at it, no longer feeling hungry. Rachel watched him and bit her lower lip.

"Kurt, I just don't understand why you've closed yourself off to them. I mean I get why with me and with everyone else from McKinley, but—"

"Rachel, look at who he has for a son!" Kurt stated with exasperation, as if what he's saying is the most obvious answer to her question.

"I mean I end up being gay, which even though he's been very accepting I'm sure he wasn't exactly thrilled about it. I was bullied, nearly starved myself to death because I couldn't man up and actually tell him what was going on. I was too weak to stay in school so he had to take me out and I had to be home schooled. He and Carole had to watch me to make sure I wasn't going to relapse. I was always going on about how much I wanted to go to New York but then once I manage to get here I don't go to school, I was rejected by the one school I thought would accept me, and now I work at a dead end job where I moon over complete strangers, one of which has a family who all think I'm engaged to him. And what's so fucking funny about it all is that I haven't even had a real first kiss."

Kurt got quiet after that for a moment.

"When did I become a running joke, Rachel? I—I was supposed to be somebody by now. I used to want so much but look at me!"

"Kurt you're not a joke," Kurt's short snort did nothing to stop her from continuing. "So, life hasn't gone like you thought it would. Big deal. You've had a lot of crap to go through too. I mean if I had gone through even half of what you did back…"

Kurt's saw her hesitate, as if she was nervous about speaking more of what had happened to him back in Lima.

"If I had gone through even half of what you did, with what little support you had, I highly doubt I would have faired any better then you did Kurt; I doubt I would have survived like you have. And you have, you've survived. You are in no way weak. You're the strongest person I know—No! Really you are. That should mean something."

She reached across the space between them and took his hand. They were both exhausted but he was actually feeling grateful she was sticking out the late hour for him, even if their relationship was still very strained.

"It's not too late either, Kurt."

He looked at her curiously. "Not too late for what, Rachel?"

"To have your dreams come true. You can still become the star you always wanted to be, you can go to school here in New York and…"

"With what money, Rachel? With the job I have I barely make it by living here, and we both can see what a glamorous palace this is. Even if money weren't an issue, what school would want me? The school I wanted and needed to go to didn't want me so…"

Rachel just looked at him with pleading eyes before she smiled sadly at him.

"I miss that."

"What?" He asked feeling a bit more irritated than before.

"Your sarcastic caustic wit." She answered with a brief hopeful smile. "Before the bullying and well…you used to be so fierce."

Rachel let a small giggle escape her and Kurt had to smile at that. She sobered up again quickly though and looked at him with every ounce of seriousness she seemed to contain.

"Kurt, I really am sorry for everything." He opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him.

"No—No let me say this, Kurt. Back when you were still going to McKinley, I, and well everybody else, we could all see something was going on with you. Even if we didn't know the specifics we could see you were going through something bad. I was too stuck in my own world and what I wanted to be to care enough as a true friend and actually check up on you and to see if I could do anything for you. We all should have done more Kurt, for you, because you deserved to have someone fighting for you at that damn hellhole of a school and you didn't have anyone. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am for that."

Her grip on his hand tightened.

"When your dad came in to speak to Mr. Schue the week after you were hospitalized and told everyone you wouldn't be coming back it was like the reality of what you were going through hit us all really hard. I wanted to make things right, and for a little while I thought I had or at least made things better, by coming over and hanging out with you and all that. Then we both ended up in New York, just like we had wanted, but it wasn't how we wanted. It seemed like I was getting everything we both had worked so hard for. I got the school, you didn't, I got parts even though I'm going through a dry spell right now, the point is you didn't, I got—"

"Rachel, if you're thinking this is helping to make me feel better, it isn't working." He said trying in vain to gently cut her off.

"I should have tried harder to keep in contact with you when we got here. You needed someone and I wasn't there and—"

"You're trying to be here now, and I'm trying to let you be here so we're working on it, ok?"

"Yeah. I hope we are." She said softly.

Kurt squeezed her hand before letting go, he tried to curl up tighter inside the apparently too thin blanket he had draped over himself.

"So I have to ask. Why him?"

Rachel's question was an abrupt but not unwelcome change in conversation.

"Why him what?" He asked.

"Why Cooper Anderson? What is it about this guy that just made you so crazy, that you were willing to jump onto a railway track, save his life, and then pretend to be his fiancé?"

Laughing for the first time in what felt like days, Kurt shook his head. "Thanks for summing it all up in the only way you can Rachel. But to answer you, I really don't know. For some reason his presence helped me hope again, even as minute as it is, there's something about him that helped bring that out in me again. Plus, he has really nice eyes."

Squealing Rachel nearly tackled Kurt. "Are they dreamy? What color are they? Bright and beautiful or dark and mysterious or…"

"They're a really nice blue color." He offered before adding. "It runs in the family too, because his brother has the most beautiful almost honey brown colored eyes I've ever seen."

Rachel regarded him curiously before smiling slyly. "He has a brother?"

Holding his hands up to stop whatever thoughts were going through her head he quickly added, "Rachel whatever you're thinking don't, it's bad enough what I've done I don't need you going around chasing a helpless unsuspecting guy, who apparently had a fond love of musicals and "The Sound of Music" as a child. He made their sister watch it about a hundred times or so growing up."

"Huh." Was all she could say to that, before continuing, "You sure he isn't gay?"

(A little while later…)

"Kurt, what is this stuff?" Rachel asked as she began sorting through the box, containing Cooper's things he's gotten from the hospital. A box Kurt had been meaning to go through, but he had forgotten about it over the course of the last few days.

"Oh that's just stuff that was on Cooper when the hospital admitted him."

"And they gave it to you? Just like that?"

"Fiancé, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

Rachel dug into it and grabbed onto a small plastic bag and opened it.

"Kurt?"

"Yes, Rachel?" Kurt was on the verge of sleep.

"Does Cooper have any pets?"

Kurt yawned and stretched not really understanding her question. "Um, I don't know, why?"

"Well I found this can of dog food, wrapped in a plastic bag, and you said they found it on him when they—Kurt you don't think…" Her tired voice tapered off.

They exchanged concerned looks before Kurt stood up letting the blanket fall back onto the sofa.

Kurt quickly went to Rachel's side and pulled the box towards him. "Ok, there has to be an address for him somewhere in here."

(An hour and a half later…)

Rachel had left shortly after they found an address, thankfully Cooper had been carrying mail addressed to himself before the attack, she had been too afraid of what might be inside the apartment ("Really Kurt you just had to look through his things the day you got them, it's not that difficult to do.") so Kurt, the keys he found in the box gripped tightly in his hand, made his way to Cooper's apartment on his own.

_I just hope there isn't a dead animal inside._

There was a man dressed in uniform standing just outside the building with the address from the envelope.

"May I help you?" He asked as Kurt approached hesitantly.

"Uh—yeah I hope you can. I need to get into Mr. Anderson's apartment I have to make sure his pet is—"

"Oh! I heard about what happened to him, poor guy. He's always in such a good mood whenever I see him. Are you family?"

"Err…I'm just a friend who…um…"

"Oh just a 'friend', hey I get it. Mr. Anderson's been known for his wild interests. I thought he had a fiancé though?" The older man asked with an unsure smile while scratching his head in confusion.

"Who told you that?" Kurt asked with wide eyes.

"His brother's been coming by here every day for the last several days to collect Mr. Anderson's mail and he dropped that bombshell this morning."

The man looked at Kurt for a moment before his eyes grew wide. "Were you not supposed to know about his fiancé? Oh I am so sorry. It—it's not any of my business, just forget I said anything."

"His brother was here today? Already?" Kurt asked feeling more anxious then before and trying to ignore the older man's previous statement.

"Yeah he was. I think he already left though. I think he forgot that with the holiday, mail wouldn't have been delivered yesterday. He hasn't been up to the apartment at all though."

"Hey Jim!"

Kurt froze.

_Oh no…_

Blaine walked up to where he and the older man stood with a smile on his face, but something felt off about the whole thing.

"Mr. Anderson! I thought you'd already gone and…"

"I was on my way out, but then I saw this guy here," Blaine wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulder and squeezed. "And I just had to turn back around."

The older man, Jim apparently, looked between them with a look of confusion.

"Don't you know who this is, Jim? I would have thought that you would have met Cooper's fiancé by now."

"This is the fiancé?" Jim asked, a surprised grin growing on his face.

Kurt pulled away from Blaine and saw him watching him very carefully.

"Yep, that's me." He spoke with what he hoped sounded like a laugh.

"Well, why didn't you just say that before, go right on up then!" Jim said with a smile.

Kurt swallowed and nodded walking right past Jim and headed towards the elevators. He could feel Blaine following close, right behind him.


	10. Chapter 6 Part 2

"Since when does Cooper have a dog?" Blaine asked as the elevator doors opened and they both stepped out and walked towards Cooper's apartment.

"Oh he's had the dog the whole time I've known him." Kurt said trying desperately to sound as casual as possible.

"Uh huh. Funny, he never mentioned it."

Kurt barely got the door open as Blaine practically pushed his way inside.

"So, what does this dog look like?"

Kurt hurriedly closed the door and tried to take in his new surroundings while listening to Blaine the best he could.

_Oh, my god. This guy has to be loaded. How does a struggling actor make enough money to live here? THIS PLACE IS HUGE!_

"Oh, you know. Like a dog." Kurt said absently as he gazed around the room, somewhat in awe while still hoping to catch a glimpse of the animal.

Blaine was looking at Kurt the whole time, he had found a spot at the kitchen counter and just stood silently for several long moments watching him.

"For someone who's been here before you sure do seem taken aback by this place."

Kurt abruptly stopped and turned towards Blaine quietly. "What do you mean?" he asked as calm as he could.

Shrugging Blaine traced the edge of a note that the housekeeper Cooper apparently employed had left, a note Kurt had failed to notice.

"Well, considering how often you've been here, if I personally had been here as often as I'm assuming you have, the surprise of this place would kind of lose its luster after awhile."

"I—I just like to see things with fresh eyes, every day. You know?" Kurt responded, cringing at how lame he thought his words sounded.

Blaine doesn't seem to buy it so Kurt started calling out, "Here, boy. Come on out, buddy. We've got some delicious food for you out here. Come here boy, come on."

There was no response from anywhere in the apartment, and Kurt felt his panic level begin to rise.

"Oh my god," Kurt took his thumbnail between his teeth.

"Kurt—" Blaine tried but Kurt continued without realizing Blaine had spoken up.

"Oh my god! Why did I have to wait so damn long to check what was in that stupid box. I mean who does that?! A nurse just comes up and thrusts a box with your fiancé's stuff into your arms and you don't even bother to check to see what's inside?! And now, there's probably some poor defenseless animal either dead or dying somewhere in this apartment because—"

"Kurt there's not." Blaine spoke up breaking Kurt out of his thoughts.

"What are you…"

"Cooper's housekeeper left this note." Blaine said holding up the paper up for the first time to Kurt. "She apparently picked the dog up shortly after Cooper was hospitalized and is taking care of…" Blaine paused as he looked at the paper in his hand, "Fluffy? Really? You guys named the dog Fluffy?"

Kurt could feel his face heat up and he crossed his arms in front of himself, protectively.

"What's wrong with that?" Kurt didn't know why he felt so defensive over Blaine finding it amusing, it's not like he actually had a hand in naming the dog.

_He's got a point. Who the hell names their dog Fluffy? Well, outside of bored housewives with zero imagination…_

"Hey, I never said there was anything wrong with it." He said holding his hands up in mock surrender.

Kurt looked around the apartment hoping for something—anything to steer the conversation between them in a different direction.

"So when did you start seeing Cooper?"

"September 17th." Kurt felt his lips move without even thinking. He could feel his eyes widen and he almost clasped his hand over his mouth.

"Wow. That's oddly specific." Blaine noted looking at him curiously. "How did you two—" The blaringly loud ring of the telephone cut him off.

The phone rang two more times before Blaine spoke up. "Aren't you going to answer that? It might be important."

Shaking his head, in large part because of his nerves, Kurt tried to shrug it off as no big deal. "We usually just let the machine get it."

Blaine watched him closely and after another ring he walked over to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?" His eyes never left Kurt.

After a moment Blaine held the phone out to Kurt. "It's for you."

(Later…)

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Kurt said mostly to himself as his arm was prepped and he let his head fall back against the pillows behind him on the hospital bed.

"Well, as you said the nurse on the phone told you it's apparently tradition for visiting family members of those in the hospital to give blood during the holidays. That is what you said, right?" Blaine asked with a small hint of a grin on his face.

Kurt rolled his eyes. This was all getting out of hand. Blaine was being incredibly persistent and it was beginning to unnerve him.

_How the hell am I supposed to find a way to tell this guy and his family the truth when he's giving me absolutely no room to figure out a way to do that?_

Groaning, Kurt shut his eyes. "Doesn't mean I had to agree to it."

There was a moment of silence between them as the nurse found her way back in with what looked like horrifically long needles.

"Then why did you?"

Kurt's eyes opened at the softly spoken question and found Blaine staring back at him from the other hospital bed.

"It's personal."

Scoffing, Blaine waved his free arm in the air, hissing just slightly when the nurse pushed the needle in, his blood beginning to fill the clear bag attached to it.

"Come on Kurt, we're practically family. We will be family some day. Indulge your future brother-in-law a bit, for the sake of shits and giggles."

Kurt just watched him before he too felt the brief sharp prick of a needle being pushed into his arm.

"My mother died from injuries she got from a car accident she was in, she lost a lot of blood. At the time I'd been too young, but I'd wanted to give blood to help her." Kurt had to look away from Blaine's gaze as he felt the hot sting of tears burning from behind his eyes.

"I guess I got this idea stuck in my head that if I had just been able to give a little bit of my blood, she would have lived. It wasn't that simple, her injuries had been too severe, but to a young kid who wanted nothing more than for his mother to live it…" Kurt had to stop himself a moment, taking a deep breath.

"So, I promised myself that one day I would give a little bit back so no other person—child would have to feel the loss I felt, if I could help it anyway. Of course, I didn't have any idea about the ban on gay men giving blood at the time, but last year when the FDA lifted its ban I planned to come in and give some as soon as possible, but I didn't think it'd be under these circumstances."

Blaine just sat there and watched Kurt as the nurse finished up with them, placing a bandage on each of their arms and telling them she'd be back in a few minutes with something for them to eat and drink, giving strict orders for them not to move or get up.

"So this is your first time giving blood then?" Blaine asked curiously.

Kurt licked his lips and nodded. His eyes gazed down at his arm.

"It's my first time too."

Blaine's response is soft but Kurt looked back at him quickly.

Laughing at Kurt's reaction, Blaine just shrugged. "Like you said, the ban was just lifted last year."

Kurt was even more confused.

_Is he saying what I think he's saying?_

"You mean you're—you're gay?"

Blaine tilted his head and narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Cooper didn't tell you?"

Swallowing nervously, Kurt bent his arm and pulled himself to the side of the bed, standing slowly.

"He—he never mentioned it, no." Kurt spoke swiftly as he reached over and picked up his jacket, slowly pulling it on.

"Sir, I told you not to move." The nurse came over and handed Kurt a small cup of water and a few crackers, which Kurt literally shoved into his mouth.

"Wait!" Blaine said quickly standing far to fast as he gripped the bed to keep his balance.

"Sirs please you need to—"

They both ignored the nurse, Kurt quickly and cautiously made his way out of the room, Blaine attempted to follow.

"But that doesn't make any sense…" Blaine felt the lightheadedness hit him hard as he wavered and fell to the floor.

Kurt wanted to vomit.

_This is not happening. This is not happening._

Kurt had made his way up to the room where Cooper was, and he was met with the Anderson family again. Kurt wanted to slam his head against the wall in frustration.

_Why do I have to be so fucked up?_

"Kurt!" Lyra spoke with a smile noticing him before anyone else in the room had. Both Charlotte and Celine were standing at Cooper's bedside speaking quietly together while James sat in a chair near the window reading the morning's paper.

Her face quickly fell at the sight of him, his face had gone very pale. She rushed over to his side and took his arms in hers.

"Are you ok, Kurt? You look sick."

"I—I just gave blood and I think I moved too soon and…"

"Kurt!"

Closing his eyes, Kurt had to surpress the groan that was fighting to bubble up to the surface.

"Blaine, what the hell!" Lyra all but shouted as she helped Kurt to one of the chairs closest to the bed. She then noticed the bandage on Blaine's forehead. "And what the fuck happened to your head?"

"What's Cooper's favorite baseball team?" Blaine asked Kurt, ignoring his sister's question.

Kurt remembered seeing a few Boston Red Sox hats on the bookshelves in Cooper's living room, so he guessed.

"Um…The Boston Red Sox?"

Kurt felt like he wanted to cry.

_You did this to yourself. There's no one to blame for this but you._

"That was too easy. This being New York, you had a fifty-fifty shot of guessing the right one. Ok, what's his favorite brand of ice cream?"

Kurt could feel the eyes of everyone in the room shift to him.

"Ben and Jerry's."

"Everybody loves Ben and Jerry. Again, that was too easy. Which of the Three Stooges is Cooper's favorite?"

Kurt had to grip the front of his jacket tight against his chest to stop the shaking of his hands, the urge to vomit returning in full force.

_He knows! There's no way he doesn't! TELL THEM NOW! _

"Curly?" Kurt felt himself say instead, unsure as to why he was even attempting to answer Blaine's questions.

"Ha!" Blaine all but shouted, but then seemed to stop short. Kurt's heart hammered harshly against his chest. "Everybody's favorite is Curly."

"Ok, what the hell is going on here, Blaine?" James asked standing quickly looking between his son and Kurt.

"Why don't you ask Kurt? Or better yet, ask him about his boyfriend."

"Blaine, that is not funny." Charlotte spoke up beginning to get upset.

Kurt felt his insides twist even more with guilt.

_JUST. TELL. THEM._

"No, not Cooper." Blaine said looking right at Kurt. "Lou."

Ok, that got Kurt's attention really fast, even if his head felt like it was spinning.

"What?" He asked in disbelief.

_He can't really believe that I would be with someone like…like Lou?! _

"Yeah, he told me Kurt. Lou told me all about how you two are "involved"."

Kurt couldn't hold the laughter in, even with the headache that was coming on, and apparently that was not the reaction Blaine was expecting.

"There is nothing funny about you two timing my brother with someone like—"

"Lou is my landlord, my delusional landlord. This is a guy who once claimed he had a role in creating the internet. He hits on me all the time, and I have tried to get him to back off but he doesn't seem to have the ability to take a hint. The man may be persistent but he's harmless."

"Why would you put up with that, though? If what you're saying is true, and you're not dating him, then why do you continue living there when…"

"Maybe because no one else would rent to a guy like me who has no education higher than a high school level; who works for the NYC transit system and barely makes enough to get by as it is; who only has a place to live because the landlord he has now, as frustrating as he may be most of the time, was the only one willing to cut me a break."

"But you and Cooper are engaged and…"

"The engagement was kind of sudden." Kurt said looking down at his hands, feeling all the shame hit him all over again for keeping with the lie. "Besides, we were waiting until we got married to move in together."

This time, Blaine was the one who laughed.

Kurt looked up and he noticed the odd looks the others in the room were giving each other.

"So let me get this straight, Cooper was willing to wait until you guys got married to—to move in together? Cooper the same guy who while he was in college met a girl at a coffee shop and by the end of that week had moved into her place and shacked up with her? You're really expecting me, us, my family, people who have known Cooper for years, to believe that?"

Kurt looked around at everybody else in the room, they were all looking right at him. He could see the questions forming in their minds, held in their eyes as they continued watching him.

It took a moment, but Charlotte cleared her throat, speaking up softly. "If Kurt wanted to prove what he's saying is true, he could. He could prove that he knows our Cooper just as well as we do."

Blaine looked back at Kurt and motioned for him to do just that.

_This is it Kurt, time to break down and confess. Maybe if you're lucky they wont call the police._

Kurt took a few deep breaths and met Blaine's gaze with his own.

"There's a scar."

_Wait…what?_

"There's a scar that Cooper got a couple of months ago, it's about three inches long. There was an accident. He was playing basketball with his agent, who felt it necessary to have a pencil in his back pocket while they played and—well let's just say it scarred Cooper in more then one way. He hasn't played basketball since."

Blaine was looking at him in disbelief. "Where's the scar?"

Swallowing hard, Kurt could feel his face heat up.

_Really Kurt? How old are you? Just tell them it's on the shaft of his penis._

"It's on his—his…" Kurt motioned towards his own lower half and he saw everyone's expression shift from confusion, to understanding, to shock, and then finally to unease.

Blaine still looked at Kurt in disbelief.

"No way." He said loudly. "No way!"

"Well, someone should check! If Kurt says it's there, I'm sure it is." Lyra spoke as she looked over at him and gave him an encouraging smile.

Kurt started looking for a trashcan, he felt his stomach twist up again in knots.

"Fine. I'm his mother, so I'll do it. I swear you men…" Charlotte spoke with both impatience and curiosity laced in her voice.

Everybody watched as she lifted the blanket and looked for several long moments.

"My poor baby!" She finally said lowering the blanket back down. She gently stroked Cooper's face.

Kurt watched as everyone began talking at once, except for Blaine who just watched Kurt with an unreadable expression on his face before he turned and walked out of the room, wavering just slightly on his feet.


	11. Chapter 7 Part 1

(A few days later…)

After the uncomfortable aftermath of Blaine's persistent questioning, Kurt had excused himself from the room feeling self-conscious of the looks he was receiving from the other members of the Anderson family, and he had left the hospital quickly. He felt so ashamed for what he was putting this family through, but in all honesty he had no idea how to go about fixing what he'd done; even if it hadn't been intentional. He understood Blaine was being protective of his brother, but it was still difficult taking the cool reception he'd been receiving from Blaine since their first encounter.

So after he had left, Kurt had decidedly stayed away from the hospital. A small part of him was hoping that if he stayed away long enough they might just leave him alone and forget he even existed.

_Not like people have had a problem doing that before._

He went about his days and nights as he would normally. He'd go to work. Crystal would hassle him about finding a guy and then he'd go home, alone. Well, not completely, Liza his cat was still there and she'd been in a much more "cuddle-friendly" mood then she usually was, but it wasn't the same. Kurt was still alone. Rachel who was still making a large effort to call him was also busy going on a few new auditions which only made Kurt envious of her, as he usually had been years back before they had gone their separate ways. He was happy for her, but the part of him that still dared to dream of the stage, of bright lights and performing, the part that had reawakened because of his brief encounters with Cooper had started to dim again and he felt like once again life was showing him how "truly pathetic" he was and that his life was only meant to be as it is. Kurt was yearning to go back to the hospital, to hold Cooper's hand again, to talk to him while he remained unconscious, but he didn't want to intrude anymore than he already had on this poor suffering family.

_Haven't you fucked up enough already? Just leave them alone._

On the night of his fifth day away from the hospital, Kurt was curled up on his sofa, watching some reality tv program, eating some cheap Chinese take out he could barely afford, with Liza cuddled in next to him. Rachel had called earlier asking him if he had wanted to attend a party Jesse was throwing, but he had told her he was busy. Rachel knew he was pulling away, and since their friendship was still on shaky ground she accepted his answer but told him to have a nice evening and that if he needed _anything _she was there. He hung up shortly after.

He was just getting into the latest episode of his favorite reality show when there was a quiet but persistent knock at his door. Confused he shook his head while getting up while the person on the opposite side of the door knocked again.

"Coming!" He called walking up to the door and quickly unlocked it.

Kurt was met with a somber looking Celine.

_Fuck._

"Celine. This is a surprise."

The older woman smiled warily at him as he moved out of her way and allowed her entrance to his place.

"I know it's not polite to show up unannounced but…" She paused while taking in his apartment. "I felt it was necessary."

Kurt watched nervously as Celine gazed around, her eyes stopping on Liza, who was still curled up on the couch.

"I didn't know you had a cat. I adore cats." She said softly walking over to the resting animal and gently stroked her back.

Kurt felt out of place with Celine being there but he maintained his composure and took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

"Yeah, well she makes for good body heat when the heater goes on the fritz during the winter." He tried, hoping to keep the mood light while still being unsure of why Celine had shown up.

Celine offered a small smile as she sat down on the couch and continued stroking the sleeping cat.

"Is this how you spend your free time, Kurt?" She asked softly looking up at him curiously.

Wringing his hands Kurt resisted the urge to hide. It felt so intrusive to have someone who had only recently come into his life see how and where he lived. It felt like judgment.

_You're fooling yourself if you think you don't…_

"Kurt."

He came back from his thoughts immediately and watched Celine watching him, a small frown etched across her face.

"Sorry I—I kind of—um—got lost in my—my thoughts and…"

"Well, whatever it was you were thinking young man, stop. You look like you're about to have a stroke. Now, come sit over here so you and I can talk." She spoke clearly leaving no room for arguments. Her hand patted the spot next to her as she lifted Liza into her lap.

Kurt bit his thumb nail and hesitated only slightly before he made his way over to the couch and sat down next to her.

"First of all, that sweater looks great on you! Charlotte and James really picked out a good one for you."

Kurt had forgotten he as wearing the new sweater the Anderson's had given him. He started crossing his arms subconsciously in front of him, but Celine reached out and took both his hands in hers.

"Kurt I'm not going to beat around the bush ok? The reason I came over here was to make it clear that I know."

Kurt could feel his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest.

"You know?"

Celine gave him a look but smiled and squeezed his hands.

"I know you're not engaged to Cooper."

_This is it. She's here to tell me to stay away, that I've done enough damage and…Hopefully they wont call the cops._

"I over heard you that night when you were with Cooper. I heard everything you said Kurt."

Kurt looked at her again and was confused.

"But that was over a week ago. You've known this whole time and you haven't said anything…"

"And I don't plan on saying anything either."

Kurt was speechless. They were both quiet for a moment.

"I heard you that night at the hospital Kurt and I'm not going to lie and say I was ok with what I heard, because I wasn't. It was shocking to hear and it was upsetting."

Kurt looked away attempting to pull his hands away but Celine gripped his hands tighter. "I know and I am so sorry. I wanted to tell all of you it'd been a misunderstanding with that nurse and—"

"Kurt I need you to listen and listen good. You understand?" Celine spoke up cutting him off.

Sighing in resignation Kurt nodded, trying to prepare for the onslaught.

"I know you didn't mean for what's happened to happen. I see it clear as day written across your face. I also believe it when you say you're sorry so just take this as apology accepted."

Nodding again Kurt bit his lip. "I'll make sure to personally explain everything and apologize to the rest of the family tomorrow morning when I go to the hospital and—"

"Don't."

Kurt stopped speaking and was surprised.

"Kurt, listen. This might sound bizarre but it's not like this situation is the epitome of normalcy. I don't want you saying anything to the rest of the family, at least not yet."

Kurt just looked at her, confused.

"But why not? I should have been honest from the moment this whole misunderstanding started. I just don't want to hurt them, hurt you all anymore than I already have and…"

"Oh, sweetheart you haven't hurt us. The way I see it is that you've actually saved us, my family."

Shaking his head Kurt pulled his hands away and crossed his arms in front of himself.

"I don't even see how that is even logically possible Celine I mean, I've lied to you and your family, made you believe I was close to Cooper when I wasn't and…"

"You gave us Cooper back."

Kurt was still having trouble understanding what she was meaning.

"Kurt, Cooper is in a coma, has been for a couple of weeks now. We don't know if he'll even wake up."

"Celine, that's ridiculous of course he will he—"

"We don't know if he'll wake up Kurt." She continued as if he hadn't just spoken. "With you here, it's like we have a piece of Cooper still with us. You're our connection to him."

"But you know that I'm not his fiancé."

"Yes, but they don't. Every time they see you or speak with you it's like they can still have hope that everything will turn out alright; we can believe Cooper will come back to us."

Celine's voice kind of broke at the end and she waved off his concerned look.

"The point is Kurt, you may feel like you need us but we need you too."

After a quiet moment to his thoughts Kurt looked at Celine questioningly.

"So I just keep up the lie?" He asked, softly and unsure.

"For now. When it comes to it I'll help you figure a way to tell them, but for the time being just don't say anything yet ok? Promise me."

Reluctantly Kurt nodded causing Celine to smile. She leaned over and kissed his cheek before standing.

"Now that that's cleared up I have to get going. Oh! And you better come by the hospital soon, the family's missed you. Remember what I said, ok?"

Kurt nodded in understanding and walked her to the door.

"And one more thing!" Celine said turning from the door to face him one last time. "Don't mind Blaine. He's just protective of his siblings, extremely protective. He always has been."

Smiling to himself Kurt shrugs gently. "I get it. I have a step-brother back at home."

"Yeah, well Blaine can be a stubborn and persistent ass, but he's a sweet boy. "

Kurt tried to offer his best smile at that. "I'm sure he is."

"You know, maybe when this is all over, you and Blaine could try being friends. Knowing my godson, I think you two would get along really well."

Shaking his head, he crossed his arms in front of himself again as he spoke, "When this is all over, I doubt he'll want to have anything to do with me."

Giving him a small knowing smile Celine responded, "I know my godson Kurt, and I can tell you that he's full of surprises."


	12. Chapter 7 Part 2

Kurt had just resituated himself on his couch when there was another knock at his door.

Letting out a tired sigh he stood up and made his way back to the door.

"Did you forget something, Celine?" He asked opening the door, only to stop abruptly finding himself looking right at Blaine.

"Blaine?"

Kurt could feel his throat constricting slightly, and his grip on his front door tightened.

Blaine looked a bit sheepish, standing there unsure as he scratched the back of his neck before finally making eye contact with Kurt.

"H—Hey. I hope you don't mind me stopping by this late and—Was Celine really here? I thought I saw her car leaving as I pulled up but I didn't think—Yeah never mind, um…Yeah…"

Kurt just watched him with wide eyes as Blaine rambled and stopped, trying to gain control of his breathing. Blaine doesn't speak for several long moments. Kurt could feel himself wanting to just quickly close the door and go curl back up on his couch.

Taking a deep breath he tried again, "Blaine? Is there a reason you decided to show up on my doorstep this late at night?"

Blaine let out another breath and straightened himself up. "I'vebeenanass."

Confused, Kurt cocks his head at that. "Excuse me?"

Blaine goes slower, repeating himself. "I've been an ass, Kurt. From pretty much the start and my little blow up at you was the reason you stopped coming by the hospital."

Kurt opens his mouth to respond but Blaine stops him again. "Don't deny it Kurt. I know. I just don't want to be that guy. The asshole who makes assumptions and who does things that end up hurting those he loves the most, and I love my brother Kurt. His whole-being-in-a-coma thing has kind of freaked me out so I've been acting irrationally and seeing things that aren't really there and—Well, I'm sorry for that and can you just forgive me and start coming back around the hospital to see Cooper again? Lyra is ready to kick my ass for everything I said to you and for how I behaved and I'd rather not have her on my case. She may be small, but you have no idea how scary she is when she's pissed off. So will you forgive me? Please?"

Kurt was speechless. Blaine had just given a very longwinded rambling apology to him. Blaine was apologizing to him.

_Well this is ironic._

Shaking his head and trying to suppress the guilt from keeping up the lie Kurt just stared at Blaine; Blaine who had the most open and hopeful and honest expression on his face as he watched and waited for Kurt's response.

He must have been taking to long because one second Blaine was standing feet away anxiously awaiting for Kurt to speak and the next he was standing inches away from Kurt, his face so close that Kurt could feel the breath from Blaine's slightly parted lips.

"Please Kurt?"

Blaine's voice actually sounded small and pained. Kurt's face flushed and he felt the heat on his cheeks from Blaine's close proximity.

It took a couple of attempts but Kurt managed to find his voice to respond. "There's nothing to be sorry for Blaine. Let's just forget what happened and start over, okay?"

Blaine stepped back at that and his face broke out into one of the brightest smiles Kurt had ever seen, well on anyone. And then he was holding out his hand to Kurt, who just looked back at him confused.

"Starting over right?" Blaine said at the look of confusion on Kurt's face as he continued. "I'm Blaine."

Finding himself smiling despite the situation he put his hand in Blaine's. It was different from how it felt holding Cooper's. Where Cooper's hand was smooth and clammy and only slightly warm, Blaine's hand radiated heat and life. Kurt was shocked at the gentle roughness Blaine's hand was against his own. It spoke of a man who used his hands a lot in everything he did, no matter what the task was, and someone who tried to balance that out by caring for his hands, caring for the roughness.

"Kurt." Was all he could say to Blaine and he was unable to stop the smile from forming on his face as he watched Blaine's own smile grow even more at his response.


	13. Chapter 7 Part 3

Kurt couldn't say how he found himself in a small café, named Café Boulevard, the next afternoon, after he had made a trip to visit Cooper; who was still unresponsive. Even more confounding for him was that he was having coffee with the very person he felt he should probably be keeping the most distance from, Blaine.

After his pretty awkward visit at Kurt's doorstep the previous evening, Kurt had gone back inside and crashed on his couch, with Liza curled up against his stomach. He had the next day off from work so he took his time getting dressed the following morning, pulling on the same black sweater the Anderson's had given him and made the trip down to the hospital around late morning, hoping to find Cooper's room empty.

It wasn't empty.

Blaine was seated in the very same chair that Kurt had used two weeks prior while he watched over Cooper. It was strange and he felt like he was intruding on a private moment between the two brothers. Blaine looked so incredibly sad and upset as he looked at his brother. Which caused Kurt's heart to ache even more than it already was.

Blaine must have noticed him because he broke his gaze from Cooper and glanced towards Kurt who was still standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Kurt. You came." Was all Kurt could hear come from Blaine, his voice sounding tired.

Nodding more to himself than to Blaine, Kurt tried to smile. "I told you last night I would."

Smiling at that, Blaine stood and offered up his chair, indicating for Kurt to sit if he wanted to.

Kurt shook his head quickly. "No, no you sit. I'm okay, really."

Nodding again Blaine instead made his way over to Kurt's side.

"So, how is he?" Kurt asked gazing over at Cooper's still form.

"The same."

Kurt could hear the sigh and resignation in Blaine's voice.

"How are you holding up?" He asked, somewhat impulsively.

Blaine raised his eyebrow at that. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? I mean you are Cooper's fiancé."

Kurt could see the small smile forming on Blaine's mouth and even with the overriding sadness in his eyes he could also see a small glimmer of amusement in Blaine's eyes.

"Well you are his brother, and what kind of fiancé would I be if I didn't look after the family of the man I love?"

Kurt was going for playful but the words came out only just and he felt the sting of them deep inside himself.

_The man you love? Really? How do you even know what love is?_

Blaine must have noticed the shift in his mood because next thing Kurt knew he being enveloped into a tight embrace.

"Kurt, Cooper is going to be fine. We just have to stay strong for him."

Kurt felt his body tense, and his hand on Blaine's arm tightened a bit. It was odd, being embraced by another man like this, in such a non-threatening and caring way. It felt strange but also really nice too.

_Why am I being so weird? It's just a damn hug._

Slowly, Kurt pulled away and looked at Blaine who appeared to be both concerned and understanding. Shaking his head Kurt offered the best smile he could.

"I—I know. This whole situation is just weird and stressful and…"

_At least you're being somewhat honest._

Kurt felt himself trail off with his words, unable to find any more to articulate what he was feeling.

"Yeah it is." Blaine spoke up, sounding just as lost as Kurt felt.

Then there was silence between them. Both of them looked on at Cooper, who still remained motionless and unresponsive in his bed.

_What if he doesn't wake up?_

The temperature in the room seemed to drop dramatically at that thought and Kurt found himself crossing his arms in front of him and he shivered just slightly.

"Are you cold?"

_Blaine apparently notices everything._

Kurt looked back over at him and found Blaine looking at him with concern (again).

Shaking his head, Kurt tried to find the right words to say.

"I—I just—it's not that I don't want to be here—I just—I don't think—"

Taking a deep breath and nodding, Blaine reached forward and touched Kurt's arm.

"I get it."

Kurt couldn't help but feel amazed at how open and friendly Blaine was being with him. It should have been strange considering how things had started out between them with this whole situation, but apparently Blaine had meant what he'd said last night. They were starting over.

It felt nice.

"You want to go grab a cup of coffee or a bite to eat?" Blaine asked breaking through Kurt's thoughts.

"Coffee?"

"Yeah. I know this great little café that's like a block away from here. You'll love it."

Blaine's smile was really infectious because Kurt found himself smiling right back at him as he agreed pretty much without hesitation.

"That sounds great."

So now he finds himself, seated at a small booth, towards the back of a quaint café while Blaine had gone up and ordered for them both. Kurt had reached in his pocket for whatever money (or lack thereof) he had to see what he could actually afford to get, but Blaine had stopped him and insisted on paying for them himself. Kurt tried to argue but Blaine wouldn't listen. So when asked what he wanted Kurt felt embarrassed about it, but he told Blaine to surprise him.

Smiling, Blaine told him to find a place for them to sit while he went to order for them.

So, Kurt did. There weren't many people inside the café and he found himself looking around at the décor on the walls, apparently the owners seemed to love anything and everything old Hollywood because there were pictures of old-time movie stars, posters from movies like _Gone with the Wind_, _The Wizard of Oz_, _Casablanca, On The Waterfront_, just to name a few. It was rather nice in an odd sort of way.

Kurt could remember being in high school, before he had no choice but to be home schooled, and him finding joy in watching his old favorite films like _The Wizard of Oz_ and finding the hope he still had in getting away and becoming a star. Because in his mind everything he went through, everything he was going through at the time, would become just a faded old memory and the pain would stop because none of it would matter anymore because he would be a star. And stars shine brighter than any of the darkness he may have or would experience in his life.

"One café mocha, hot and ready, a simple medium drip for myself plus, I hope you like Biscotti, because I got us both one to go along with our drinks."

Blaine looked so hopeful and bright Kurt had to stop himself from cringing at the mention of the biscotti. It's not as if Kurt hated biscotti, he just had issues with eating in front of people he barely knew.

Smiling Kurt took the drink along with a tentative sip of it. It was a bit too sweet for him, but it helped in warming him up.

"So do you like what I picked for you? I wasn't sure what you would or wouldn't like."

"It's nice Blaine thank you."

And Kurt meant it.

"So what do you think of this place? I discovered it a few months back, it's just a coincidence that Cooper is being treated at a hospital near by."

"It's nice. Different, but nice." Kurt spoke with a small smile, but was beginning to feel unsure of himself again.

"Yeah." Was all Blaine said for a long moment. He seemed to be thinking to himself.

Kurt watched on as he took several sips of his own drink.

"So, Kurt why don't you tell me about yourself."

This definitely caught Kurt off guard.

"There's not much to tell, really." He said quickly looking anywhere but at Blaine.

"Oh now don't be modest. My brother is known for attracting very interesting people, so I know there has to be something special about you."

Biting his lip, Kurt looked up at Blaine who appeared to be completely resolute in hearing about Kurt's life.

"I think me saving your brother's life is probably the only interesting thing there is to know about myself."

"I don't believe that for a second. Ok, why don't we just start with the basics. Where did you go to high school?"

Sighing to himself, and realizing Blaine would not stop until they'd talked, Kurt began giving some of the details of his past.

It was interesting to for him because he ended up finding out that Blaine had in fact gone to a private school right outside of Lima for a couple of years before transferring back to New York because even though he was staying with an aunt on his mother's side he missed his immediate family too much. The fact Blaine being hurt because of him being gay had been the reason for his transfer to Dalton made something in Kurt's stomach twist. No one deserved that. It was also odd hearing that he'd been the lead soloist for the Dalton Academy Warblers, the very same group that had competed against Kurt's friends in New Directions, a competition he didn't participate in because he had transferred out.

"You never know we may have met if I had stayed."

Shrugging, Kurt shared just an overview of what lead to him leaving school and being home schooled. Blaine appeared very sympathetic to what Kurt went through and he reached out and touched Kurt's hand with his own.

"I'm sorry that you went through that Kurt."

Kurt tried not to focus on the warmth from Blaine's hand and he gently pulled his own hand away. He continued on, answering Blaine's questions and talking about how he had once wanted to do so much but because of how things in his life had gone, everything was so much less than he had wanted for himself.

There was lull in their conversation at this point.

"You haven't even touched your biscotti."

Kurt who was trying to come up with something to add to their conversation felt his face heat up at Blaine's blunt statement.

"Oh I—I guess I just got so caught up in our chat that I just—forgot about it."

He felt stupid just talking. Blaine was watching him, being open and non-judgmental, and Kurt felt it was very unnerving.

"I know it's none of my business but I noticed that you didn't really touch the food on your plate during my family's New Year's Eve get together either."

Kurt nearly knocked his coffee completely over at that. It spilt a bit but he was able to quickly recover before it became a major spill.

"Sorry—Sorry I didn't mean to do that." Kurt spoke up, voice sounding nervous. He used a few of the napkins to soak up the bit of coffee that had spilt.

Kurt felt Blaine place his hand back over his trembling one and he lifted his gaze up to meet Blaine's own.

"You have no reason to be sorry Kurt, I pried and I put you on the spot. I'm sorry. I was just making an observation, I wanted to make sure you weren't going through anything more without someone there for you, because of this whole situation with Cooper."

_Oh, so he thinks this has to do with Cooper._

Taking a deep breath, Kurt sat up a bit straighter and took another sip of his drink.

"It's not something I like talking about, and I've never had anyone notice it before and actually bring it up. You caught me off guard. This doesn't have to do with Cooper or any of that. Without going into details, I have had major issues with eating, which started and got really bad for me when I was in high school, I'm fine now; well, better than I was. I'm eating properly now and I have no problem with food conceptually, but it's still hard for me to eat in front of people I don't know. I don't want to go into detail as to why but that's just how I am. Hence, why I didn't eat much at your family's house and why I haven't touched this biscotti you got for me."

Blaine looked at him for a quiet moment before he nodded.

Clearing his throat he followed Kurt's statement up with, "Now that that's been cleared up. What do say we get out of here and go for a walk?"

Kurt had to smile at how Blaine was trying to make things less awkward and more comfortable for him after asking that question and he was appreciative of the lack of judgment coming from Blaine's side.

"That sounds nice, I'd like that." Was all Kurt could get out before they both were moving to stand up.


End file.
